slack~er

ah ha!!! the new guy is here to replace me... F.I.N.A.L.L.Y.....

But i still cant leave....cuz i gotta train him up...duh...

its funny how i'm blogging and him reading right beside me.... i'm crazy...but its true..

but its ok...cuz he's very zhi dong...he decided to pick up the book " Seafreight Forwarding" and leave me to blog in peace with no stress..

haha...

its fun knowing that i can spend my last days in Swire quite peacefully...but not quite... after i found out some shocking news...

1) M is real mean..now tt i'm leaving
2) my supposededly pay increment is not really an increment!!
3) my boss is gg to retrieve all our emails and read!! - - well not like i leaked out any company secrets..haa... -_-" ----> just lots of crap

Anyways...i'm intending to start a new blog....i've created an entry in Wordpress....but i'm still feeling my way ard and getting my inspiration to write smth...sensational....duh...not true..but yeah....trying to get back into the mood of writing..haha...

ok....blog updated....

ok...although its a taboo to say "i've got nothing to do at work today!"....i still gotta say it...

sighz..the stupid system is down once again...it meant loads of free time now...but lots of things to rush tomorrow...

after Sunday's Great Eastern 5km run, ting says she's addicted to running now...so after my meeting today, i'll be rushing home so we can go running tog..haha...

but this long weekend had been fun-filled...

it is indeed much more motivating to join sports events tog with a grp of good pals as we can encourage each other on...and doing healthy activities helps to ensure tt all of us are taking good charge of our health...

after our run tt morning...al of us went home to Zzzzzzzz..... later tt evening we met up again to have a singing session at Chinatown's K-ster...

it was actually meant to be a birthday surprise for our dear Princess G..haha....since she love k-ing...it seem like the best option....plus...everybody's so tired out from the run....its good to just slack ard and working only our lungs for some silly singing...

we sang till 11pm and off i went to meet yang for some prate...well not for me...he's the one eating....i had a stomach upset...so while he ate...i updated him on my fun-filled day...hahahaha...

den nxt morning, liyi met up with us for some tanning at Sentosa!! We were all so totally excited unitl............................

the busloads of blangadeses......



ARGH>>>> BUSLOADS of them.... i'm not being racist...but they are downright perverted and disgusting!!


but i must say....its thanks to them..that we managed to escape the rain... haha...cuz being there for only 2 hours, we were so disgusted by them that we decided to pack up and leave.

by the time we reached the bus terminal, it looked like it was gonna rain.... phew....at least we still had our tan.... and my back is burning now....

since my sisters were there with me...i shall save myself the trouble of uplaoding the pictures... at least i did my part my contributing with the wordy elaboration while they contributed the photos..haha...

okok...i'm just being lazy...but yeah...go view ting's blog for the fantastically gorgeous photos!!

BIG DISAPPOINTMENT...

but oh well... who to blame but myself!!!

if i'm in the mood to blame, i can come up with 10 GOOD reasons why i failed without blaming myself.... here goes..

1) helmet's too big for my head...so when i checked my blindspot, my helmet doesnt turn and so i keep getting penalize for not doing safety checks

2) the bike's friggin lousy...the clutch is so not sensitive enough

3) i'm the first half of 90 candidates...the testers are more alert and awake

4) the testers have bad eyesight...y didnt they spot my safety checks?????

5) the narrow plank is too long and narrow...i could have done better if it were shorter

6) the public road users are too impatient to let me change my lane the right way

7) the road shld be smoother so i won't lose balance so much

8) the bike shld be lower so tt i won't keep wobbling

9) they shld increase passing points to 20points..isnt tt a nicer figure?

10) the testers are simply too old for good judgement of safe riders.

Aw...there...10(bullshit) reasons why i failed...

RESIGNATION

Its a good thing none of my colleagues knows my blog....or i thnk many of them are gonna strangle me if i were to declare "i am so gonna tender my resignation tmr"...and my "tmr" dates: 06/08/08....

is it a good idea? i dunno....but i am beginning to really hate the probs tt keep arising at work... i keep having to clear up messes...be it my own stupid doings or the someone who just left.... its just so....tiring...

and my vessels are just great to me....keeps berthing during weekends....which means most of the time its back to office on a sat AND sun just to ensure nothing cranks up...but something ALWAYS do....DUH...

09/10/08 marks the day i get my 2B?? i'm praying i do...cuz i just wants to move on to learning smth else.... i'm making good progress in my guitar lessons frm my sis.... i cant help but applaud myself for my clever-er-ness in learning new things...ha!

13/10/08 is the day i'll be down at NUH and finally..hopefully...reveal what my irritating skin condition is...keeping my fingers cross...

17/10/08 comes and there goes Martin to good ol' Australia...dunno when will i den ever get to see him again? hope he brings his lego speaker set over..haha...so it reminds him of us and make him miss us so.... aw....

23/10/08 in comes my pay... $$$...cool-ness!!

*PS: Meanie Ming(if u ever reads this)...i am sharing it with u....thats right...in yer dreams...HA!

ok... the much rant abt wedding i was busily helping out with is finally over... and it had been alot of fun..

scored a lot of points with yang's mum's family and friends too...hahhahahahaha...he'll have his chance to score points too la..hahah..

Marco finally got someone in to replace my position when i'm gone this year end... and it was once again someoned referred by my couzzie's agency.... and he was so sure i might know the new girl since its referred by my couzzie.... i went "SO??!!" .. haha..i mean...there's like hundreds of people who send resume to my couzzie to get job offers.... and so whag if the new girl's my age and happen to stay in SengKang???

but the world is really small....just as i finished convincing him its impossible to be someone i knw......TA~DA!!! Germaine.....my CHIJ OLGC pri sch and ZHSS schmate.....COOL!

and when i asked her how she came to know abt my couzzie's agency, she said she only posted her resume on JobsDB and my couzzie contacted her to go for the interview...

so well...MArco's rite..i do knw her afterall...and its definitely good!!


its so easy to get along since we knew each other beforehand...for yrs....and being at the same age...and her having a little bit of Shipping knowledge, 2 days into her job, she can work semi-independently...just like me~ahem~when i was new...

so my OT's shld hopefully get lesser and my church committments hopefully resumes more... riite now i'm still handling 2 vessels single-handedly...but Germaine shall be the one to save me from all the fatique and stress...soon i hope...

cuz day 1 i explained to her my pathetic situation that gave me a (though)not-so-pathetic pay.... but i really needed to rest soon....

and so..thats more or less my work life update...

and as per my usual practice...i'll usually talk abt my bike development nxt..haha....

things are gg well and my bike friend ting ting finally cleared her prac 5 and can now go for road training...i'm so happy for her!! after 7 attempts at prac 5 and she finally cleared it....well God must've His reasons for answering her prayers only after 7 tries...heez....

alrighty...need to go run some errands...thats abt all for my boring life.... i wanna take up fencing and archery after i get my license..hopefully life perks up from there!!!


Reina dear...gimme the webbie so tt i can upload all the pictures i wanna show off in my blog..hahhahahahah....

updates!!

haha...ok...its me being lazy again....

but honestly..can someone advice how do i go abt piecing all the different photos together and post it up here? i've always had alot of photos...but am just too lazy to upload it on... sighz...the wonders of laziness in me...

but but but.... come OCT 9.... my bike TP....i cant believe it...   

i'm gonna have my own ride(soon?)!!!

i wun be lazy..i'll keep going for revision...i must pass first time....my many attempts at class 3 is such an embarrassment...RAWRS~~~

i cant wait for tml and sat to come....

FRI:

8am-10am: bike circuit revision

1pm-7pm: shopping and shopping and more shopping

8pm-10pm: cell grp meeting

11pm: meeting my baby

12am: my baby turning 21 and i've a surprise for him!!!!!

SAT:

8am-11am: back to office to clear my work

12pm-2pm: mini golf at Lilliputt

2pm-3pm: lunch

3pm-5pm: shopping

5pm-6pm: massage session at Kenko

6pm-7.30pm: dinner

8pm: cable car to sentosa

8.40: Song of the Sea

9.30: cable car back to harbourfront

10pm: supper 

mm.....thats how i intend to spend my day with my darling for his 21st birthday.. i hope things will go as planned.....

......and i finally had my hair cut after such a long time....i'm once again with short hair....BAh...what does it matter...as long as i feel cool and comfy....i dun give a damn how short my hair gets...but of course i must look prettyyyy too.....hahahahahah...

i'm outta here.... need to learn how to style my hair a different way...hmmm...

vanish----*poof*

my fantasy rite now is to vanish from the face of this cruel, selfish heartless world.

i had  nv felt so negative abt my life and the people ard me to this point before... but i'm so damn hurt and upset!

work had always given me a great sense of satisfaction and achievement when i successfully 

completed my task independently. and i reaped my well deserved results recently when my direct manager praised me time and time again...even asking me if they could work smth out with me when i leave for my studies nxt year... he had said that he's impressed with my working and learning attitude... and i value add to my company...

who wouldnt be pleased to hear that from yer superior? the very one whom interviewed me and chosen me over other candidates.... it prides me to know that i had shown him that he had made a right choice...

having slogged so much for the past 4months, my rate of progress had made all my bosses and colleagues pleased with me...of course not forgetting to mention, the many problems i had faced, without the grace of God, i would nv have gotten out of it all so quickly.

i had learnt fast not by my own strength and i had put in my best effort cuz i wanted to please God. Since i had chosen to take up the challenge of this job, i will finsh the race and finish it well and not giving up like how i used to do.

but i still am human....i will break under pressure...and i'm definitely feeling it now...handling vessel after vessel with no breaks for me....

when i first joined this company, by the first week, i'm independently handling a vessel all by myself.... so i couldnt understand why Dawn isnt able to do it having spent 1.5months here aldy.

it's extremely tiring for me to stay up late in the office all the way to 10-11pm just to finish up my work so that i'll be ready to tackle the new tasks for the nxt day...and no matter how i tried start my preparations early, handling 2 vessels at a time is no easy task. there would bound to be hiccups where my efforts would come to naught.

today i had a very bad scolding from my shipper from Shell Eastern. all because she had not 

received her B/L after vessel sailed 2 weeks ago. and the most ridiculous thing? i'm not even the one responsible for B/L. my job is to arrange all the documentations and bookings before vessel arrives, and after it sailed, my job is to consolidate B/L drafts and pass on to the B/L dept for processing...den i tally my vessel for local and transshipment shipments and i send the necessary reports, and my liability for the vessel ends there. period.

and today i was accused by her that i'm an irresponsible and inefficient person. wat a joke. when she faxed the B/L draft on 1st August, 6.45pm, i was still in the office doing my work. when i saw the fax came in, i had immediately pass on the draft to my colleague Esah to process while i went on to arrange for the export permit to be done for her. and the time when i sent out my export permit email, it was 7.09pm. at the same time Esah had finish processing the draft and faxed it back to her.

note this. we used less than 30min to complete our tasks and revert back to her. now 12days later, she's on the other side of my phone line and screaming all the accusations at me for not doing anth and not replying to her emails.

imagine my bewilderment when i nxt received an email from her addressed to me with my boss and manager copied in. and mind you, the things she said in the email to me is nth nice nor true. i felt so terribly upset. i did my job fast. just because something went wrong and she didnt received her B/L and i had all the false accusations rained on me.

thank God my managers in the loop knew that it couldnt have been my fault nor Esah's. and they helped me did all the explanations, saving me from another possible tongue lashing from the sales manager from the TOL office.

things didnt end there. later that evening i made a call to another shipper informing her that her shipment wasnt supposed to be accepted on the  current vessel as vessel was overbooked. and i got another scolding. this is once again not my fault. it had been Dawn's overlook and gave her the confirmation without seeking advice from trade. when i found out Dawn's mistake, i tried my best to rectify the problem without making it obvious that its her fault. and so i ahd to face another blame and scolding. and i had to write an email to explain to the shipper's client why it hadnt been accepted and yet confirmation was given.

what to do? i could only apologise and said that i had overlooked the booking situation of the vessel and thus made the booking for them and ultimately it got rejected by trade.

to top it all off, back home i was again accused by my sister of smth i did not(so totally not) do.

all the hurt in my heart is so huge. i just feel like i'm gonna burst if one more accusation is made on me.

all my life. i've done so much for my sisters. yet something goes wrong, fingers point to me first. Fine. i wun talk abt past things. i dun wanna bear grudges. to be honest. i nv bear grudges. i often forget things quickly.

but right now i just feel like vanishing. i really wanna give up. its so difficult to stay afloat when u have unhappy burdens pushing u down.

if i'm ask to picture how i feel abt my current state of mind and situation i can only say "i feel trapped"...i feel like i'm chained to the seabed while i tries frantically to help myself stay afloat. my current faith level is just like that of seeing a boat a metre away from me with the fisherman wanting to help me free from the chain but he had nth to help me with. he's like the help---so near yet so far.

i hate to tell myself i'm just an artificial christian. i dun want to seek God only when in times of trouble. but when trouble really comes knocking, i have no problem blaming God.

if i feel hurt about being accused, wouldnt it be a million times worse for Him, whom had paid such a heavy price for us?

how i wish i can tell God face to face that i'm so sorry for all the things that i've done.

"in your holiness, i find redemption song, in your majesty, i find where i belong"

i just hate myself. i hate my life. i hate this entry.

i want to love again.

B.O.R.E.D

being at home with nth to do makes me appreciate my work so much more..

at least being in the office with tasks to complete, time pass really quick...

my last time check was 2pm... my current time check is 2.10pm... get the idea?

arg...

it sucks feeling sick... and it sucks feeling bored.... i was contemplating booking a circuit revision today... but i dun trust my stomach though...

just now i experienced a pain i nv had before... it was so excruciating tt i didnt even have the strength to call out to my sis... so i could only rest in my chair and will the pain away...

but as suddenly as the pain came... few minutes later, it subsided and everything seemed fine up to this point... i wonder whats wrong with me...

i shld listen to the doc and go for a scan.... if its some cancer, at least i detected it early....

mm....

but well...

anyway i was surfing through STOMP webbie and i came across the post that my darling showed me tt day... 

wat a great idea to get ppl exercising without realizing it! haha... it was quite a novelty if Singapore really did it... we'll no longer be known as the FINE city.. we'll changed to be known as ERP(Every Route Pay..i/o Every Road Pay)..

but i believe i wun be laughing if we really had to do it... tourists would come visit...but only to admire how our govt make money out of shoppers...ha!

haha... i dun realized how lazy i actually am till i read my previous blog and realized i STILL have not gotten down to doing wat i said io'll do...

whatever....

i'm now blogging in my office...

believe it or not...and if the time reflects at 9.06pm, dun be surprised... the office is like my second home...

i shld get back to work....

later~~

Lesson 6!

Woo Hoo~ sweet...

i cleared my assessment first time!! hahahahha...now i'm on to lesson 6 part 1.. but that is if i can get my PDL done out real soon...

but yeah......yang just went on to lesson 6 part 2... heez...not that i wanna compete la...but i use it as a bench mark to learn and improve more quickly and get that license in my possession real soon...

i've so much photos stored in my phone now...

1) Lilian's birthday celebration

2) Pre-U frens get together at New Asia Bar

3) Chilli Noodle makan session with my girlfriends

hahahah....it was a blast of a time this week...

but not at work.. i'm glad i'm the kind that can play when its time to play...and work when its time to work.. can't blame me... i made 2 major mistakes at work in 1 week... with all the stress building up...how can i not set aside some time for eating, drinking and playing to release the stress build-up?

i still have alot of explanations to do:

- Pastor Susan, as i haven been going for Children Church

- Adrian, as i haven been making it down for cell

- Deb, for screwing up my new zealand booking

And i have to absolutely say thank you to:

- God, for all the problems at work settled in the most miraculous ways

- Kenny, for helping me with the explanation to my vessel's capt and teaching me alot of stuff

- Capt Fadil for accepting my cargo graciously

- My girlfriends for all the fun!

- My bike instructors for all the biking skills picked up

- My Darling, for putting up with my moods

- My family, for knowing when to leave me alone and when to offer a listening ear

the list can go on...

now let me do some explanation abt wat happened:

First mistake made:

i accepted some pipes onto the vessel, Tasman Mariner 140827, going to the New Zealand port Tauranga. However, it didnt occur to me that this vessel doesnt take breakbulk cargo to this destination and i had aldy sent out a letter of confirmation to the local shipper. Although the time btw my confirmation and her accepting my cfm wasnt long...but she worked fast. She immediately ordered for the barge to bring in the cargo just to meet the timing of our connecting vessel.. the nxt day when i tried to explain to her tt there is absolutely no way for us to take her cargo, she told me all arrangements had been made. We have to take it or she'll  have wasted abt $20,000 on the barge.

i didnt know wat to do. in the end Marco discussed it with capt Fadil and the operations team and decided that it is minutely possible to take it onboard T.Mar but that means the space available for other breakbulk items are greatly reduced as the pipes are stored in a very awkward position.

so ok. problem solved.

den came another NZ booking to Masden Point. It's another breakbulk cargo. 120MT(120,000kg) of steel plates. Initially all was fine. Cargo was initially accepted onboard T.Mar to Auckland(Masden point and Auckland very close geographically). However, Capt adviced that there's no space to take the cargo and thus it had to be rolled to the nxt available vessel T.Independence 140828. And all still seem fine as T.Ind calls directly at Masden point and the consignee had no issue abt waiting for this vessel berthing on 02/08.

the prob came when i failed to re-send a cfm informing the local supplier that the cargo is not going onboard T.Mar(berthing 19/07). so the local supplier had aldy sent in the 120MT of steel plates into PPW(pasir panjang wharf).

now note this. when cargoes are left in the wharf for more than 72hrs(unless they are given 21days free detention), store rent would be charged by PSA. like i had said earlier, the nxt earliest vessel berthing in Sin is 02/08 -- 2 weeks(14 days!) away. imagine the amount of store rent to be paid for the cargo sitting there in the wharf because of my carelessness -- i calculated..would amt to abt $84K. All this would be on Swire's account--- and there goes my bonus.

But of course the bonus is not the main point. The point is, how are we to solve the prob?

Option 1) take the cargo onboard T.Mar as initally planned but had to drop some other shipper's cargo. And pay for the transshipment fee to move it from Auckland to Masden point.

Option 2) pay for the transportation for transporting the steel plates back to the supplier first and then transporting it back to the wharf again 2 weeks later

Option 3) pay for the store rent

Option 4) pray that T.Mar actually had space to take in the cargo.

Conclusion: Capt Fadil said that there was actually some space to take in the steel plates and so he's willing to load it on. And from the consignee's end, they had actually requested to go Auckland instead of Masden point the day before and we were not informed yet. So it turned out, everything settled nicely. Cargo going on T.Mar to Auckland. No extra payments or arrangements needed.

I'm so amazed by how things worked out. God's grace can never be fathomed by us. Never in a million years would i have foreseen that things would turn out this way. Tell me, who would've expected the vessel to have space at the last min? who would've expected the consignee to change destination at the last min? and of course, I'm thankful for the graciousness of Capt Fadil for taking in my cargo without making things difficult for me. ( from wat i learnt from Kenny abt another capt when he made a similar mistake)

so other minor stuff like finally settling my tally report which was way overdue and the trade manager was hounding me for it like crazy. i was trying to tally something that i didnt know wats wrong and at the same time meet all the deadlines for other tasks as my new colleague didnt know how to do any of it. that week had been so crazy and stressful that i almost broke down halfway. it also includes the many hrs of OT that had to be put in to catch up on work. OT till 11plus was smth i nv knew i had to do till that week....and prob many weeks to come...as long as my new colleague doesnt learn fast enuf.

ok. guess i shld stop procrastinating and get down to getting that email of apology and explanation out to my bosses and managers and capt.

tata~ God's grace is absolutely amazing through it all!

uh... i'm so shack even as i'm updating ma blog with events of this past week...

after countless complaints abt Sam quitting...we finally had the new girl in to replace Sam. but wat an understatement to use the word 'replace'.

its hardly considered replacing! she's as INEXPERIENCED as i had been. but of course, she's a determined 19-yr-old... quick to learn and pick up what's taught to her. but time isnt allowing her to take things slow! but haiz...she's still learning how to do the basic bookings. looks like i'll be handling 2 vessels each time from now to God knows when.

but i do enjoy working with her. at least she has drive and initiative. a positive learner too.

i just hope she can pick up faster. being only 3 month old in the company for me, i'm getting indefinitely panicky as the day Sam is leaving draws near.

i'm really hating the countdown. arg....guess its do or die.

wed night i had my 3rd circuit revision. and with no exception, my revision went horribly wrong. it made me wonder why did i even reach this stage in the first place. but well the bright side of it, i had my fave instructor to guide me throughout. haha. talk abt privileged treatment. HA!

but yeah. can tell he enjoyed teaching me. but i must say...he and this other instructor can teach really well. i just feel so comfortable with their teaching style. but the blur sotong tot i changed specs. haha. he said there's smth different abt me tt night but he cant seem to figure out wat. den he asked issht i changed glasses. i told him no quizzically and i rode off. it was only later den i realized tt he didnt realize the difference was just me wearing glasses for lesson. as i nv wore glasses those past times when he taught me.

haha.

but yeah. i still haven had the chance to tell him thats the reason i looked different...and prettier according to him....hahahahah! i must tell yang. cuz yang said i looked better w/o my glasses.

after my lesson, i headed down to Zouk with Justina to meet Chuan and his friends. But it hadnt been much fun. cuz the stamp i received denied me entry to phuture. Bah....so irritating. and i felt so bad abt having the rest of them stuck in the Mambo side because of me.

so i made a wise and heroic decision. i decide to head home by myself. HA! heroic k? i didnt know where i was walking while making my way out of Zouk cuz all the smoke is drying out my contacts and i didnt wanna rub my eyes in case i smeared my mascara.

haha. but yeah. good thing i was there regular enuf for me to make my way out w/o looking too lost. haha. must keep up a good image. esp when i'm leaving just as the party started!

as hesitant as i felt abt leaving, it was a wise choice la. i still had work the nxt day. i was surprised i could even get out of my bed.

the rest of the week passed quickly. and today i did my 4th CR. seeing improvement today, i decided i should just book for my assessment nxt sat. so again, Wed night i shall hava my CR, sat morning is another 2hrs of CR followed by my circuit assessment.

phew. i hope all my practice will not go to waste and i can move on to lesson 6 soon!

its now time to get ready for Lilian's 21st...its been so long since i last saw her! i must take lots and lots of pictures!!!

Work may be work.... as stress as everything had been... my colleagues nv seem to forget to have some crazy fun when time allowed... haha... i was so busy laughing at their antics tt i forgot to take photos of it all...

nevertheless, i finally had the chance to take photos of my desk and my office... but its mainly my side of the office... had the urge to take photo of my boss and his room...but he seem super busy so i had decided against it...

well...this was wen things hadnt been too intense... today i'm once again home from bouts of diarrhoea... the stress level is getting higher by the day.... now with 2 vessels calling in port, i had to go back to office even on sat because of my leave from work today...or monday might just gimme a heart attack...

i do enjoy my work...when i know wat i'm doing...

and i hate it wen i realized i made the same mistakes over and over again whenever a vessel berths....

Marco had been extremely patient with me....but i honestly dun want any mistakes to be repeated anymore... by nature i'm extremely careless with details....this job had helped me improve my organisational skills and made me much more systematic in multi-tasking... but i'm definitely still not good enuf..

my colleagues had been doing alot in helping to lighten my load... and i feel very bad abt it...so i must learn as much as i can so tt i can take back and do my duties while they can enjoy a lighter workload.... i do wonder why they dun wanna get more people into the dept?

sighz... ok... i guess i need to go check  my mails and start working a little from home.

my mentor. my bro. my guardian angel at work. is leaving. leaving Swire for good. i'm dead meat. really dead meat. i'm only with Swire for >3months. without the slightest inclination to what shipping is abt. i'm only beginnig to catch on a little and feeling a teeny weeny bit more stabilized. Sam had to drop the bomb.

Sam: Hey Ally. once yer free, i'll teach u how to send out NGPL booking forecasts and how to do the bookings to POM and Darwin.

Me: ok

Sam: soon, i'll also have to teach u Bankline. u've gotta handle this 2 trades with jennifer.

Me: me? u mean those tt u've been doing with her? then wat abt u? *looking real shock*

Sam: i might be leaving nxt month.

Me: LEAVING?? (of course it wasnt tt loud..cuz he had been whispering..so i know we cant be heard)

Sam: yes. the work is taking a toll on my health.

Me: Bbuut... *splutters* i'm only he-er for 2 months....how to handle 2 trades??

Sam: u can. i have 1 month to teach u and the new colleague.

Me: sighz. ok. i'm busy. we'll talk later.

And there i am. doing my bookings, doing out the booking situation reports...and thoughts running through my head. Trying frantically to make sense of everything tt he had said.

WTH??? i have no idea what the Bankline and NGPL is all abt?! and i dun even know if those are 2 different trades..or wat?? H-E-L-P!!!

Sam had always been the one to pick up my mess. Whenever my vessels dun tally....he does it for me. i declare wrong ports, he lias for me. I check vessel reports wrongly, he teaches me. Anth to do with my vessels, special arrangements, he reminds me. he's practically my life buoy @ work. wat am i to do without my bro???

 nv knew wat to do if my vessels dun tally....cuz i dunno what the hell is going on!!!!

if i cant tally, i cant close vessel..i cant close vessel i cant send final tally report...i cant send final tally report, trade manager and new zealand people will be hounding me!!

i cant believe this. Come August, my nightmare will begin. I wanna be strong. But can i?...

and i just read Sion's blog. happened to come across his blog add a few days ago. tonight i decided to read some past post. i feel disturbed abt smth he wrote. regards to the taiwan trip. surely 'he' aint one of them. pls tell me 'he' didnt give in to temptation. i value trust alot too. i do. but my insecurities drives me crazy at times. i guess i just dun trust myself.

or maybe. i dunno who to trust anymore. with all the stress at work...the snatch theft incident...i dun wanna fall into another period of depression again. the suicidal inclinations really scares me. the insomnia bothers me. the lifelessness numbs me. the facade in the day tires me.

i'm still not getting over the incident in KL. since i'm back. stupid innocent incidents freaks me out. i tried telling Yang tt night. but i dun thnk he understood how terrified i am.

i'm terrified of being alone now. why. why did it happen to me? it may seem like no big deal. but it haunts me. replays through my mind like there's no stop button. i hate it!

i used to love daydreaming...but now...if i ever allow myself to daydream....the incident replays thru my mind involuntarily. 

i want this part of my memory to go away. how long is it gonna take me?

Marco's rite. it bothers me cuz nobody wld expect such things to happen to them.

so why me.

 

Dearest friends...

i'm sure by now many knew abt the fate of my phone...(and its not wise to divulge too much here)..

so just be sure to drop me an sms so tt i can have yer contact again!....pls rmb to put down yer name in yer msg... Arigato!

and yeah...i'm still stuck in lesson 3...looks lke i have no flair in riding :(

changing spree!!

i simply love the fress i tried on! its $116 though...should i get it and pamper myself and reward myself for fitting into the size 8 dress?

heh... cant believe the shops are closing but we still managed to slip in and try out several sets of clothes!

if time allowed.... (and the staff stopped sounding like they're gonna catch us anytime for taking photos w/o buying) we would have taken loads more photos!

Liyi had chosen some fantastically great looking dresses...but too bad...time forbade me to tske photos and flaunt it :(

its enjoyable and satisfying....even more so if i can purchase it soon!!

back from church camp...

feeling extremely refreshed, renewed and trasformed...

but i'm not too happy...

cuz of what happened wen we were out for supper...but cant tok abt it oso...argh...

and anyway i'm at lesson 3 for class 2B!

aiya...feeling disorientated now having finally finished checking 600+ emails from my work mailbox...

just missed 3 days of work and work is piling like crazy...i need my sanity back!

               "THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY"

its Fri..

my boss aka God-father...only known between my sista Ruby and i though..hahahha...

ok..i'm missing my point...

my boss, Mr Neo, decided its good to have a get-together party..simply cuz its Fri! after all the hard work after a whole week, they're going to have a TGIF party evry Fri if possible...

how cool can it get...party starts at 5 and by 6 its knock off time! 

we have red wine, white wine, lots of beer...and food!

fan-ta-bulous!

some photos taken...when i get bolder...i'll take more *winkz*

class 2B -- lesson 2!!

hahahah...

and how can i forget to give updates on my bike lessons?

finally...after 4 tries at lesson 1..of which, i'm actually getting quite sick of doing the same thing over and again.....im now finally promoted to lesson 2.....

happy as i am....but thinking abt yang aldy going onto lesson 5....haiz...i'm forever slower in whatever we did...heh...

but still....i'm gonna chiong wen he's in camp...upcoming tuesday i have a night class....if i can have my one time pass, i'll be booking for a thursday night class if they have.....

whatever it is...i must spend less than 1K for my 2B licence!!!

May....

looks like this is gonna be a super looooonnnnnnnnggggg entry...hahaha...cuz it consist of so many entries in the past month of May...of which i didnt have time to upload the photos and update my entries....and cuz i couldnt rmb the dates of those events..i couldnt date the entries accordingly...

so....i jus have to do it the lazy way...hahahahah...put it all in one entry...

but if i didnt get the sequence wrong...the events are arranged from the most recent to the least recent....

here it goes:

oops...looks like i've forgotten to rotate my photos before uploading it! haha...tsk tsk tsk...its my bad and lazy habit...

but nevetheless...i thnk its pretty easy to view the photos still... and not that i wanna advertise for tis small crepe store located at suntec L1...opp the popular donut store...but pardon me cuz i actually forgot the nama of the donut...ha! cuz i only support dunkin donuts.. :)

but anyways...back to the crepe store....apparently, it originated from japan...and the fillings they had for the crepes are incredibly delicious...not to mention the Gelato....which makes it less fattening for those who wants to indulge in their ice-cream filling...

yummy...i'll go back for more....

price range for the crepe sets are slightly on the high side...but who cares...its the good food tt matters.....some indulging dun hurt... ha!

hhahaha...look! yang and i own a ferrari each!...hahaha....yalar...its from the arcade actually...but its so cool! haha...we would have taken more photo if there weren't so many passer-bys...hahahaha....

The national runway'08 had been a fresh experience after having missed tis once-a-yearly event for the past 2 years. we took on the shortest and most leisure route - 6km. And its definitely undermining our stamina. it took us only 26min to finish skating the 6km and we were surprised wen we reached the end point....if i had known its going to be so easy i should have tried convincing yang tt we shld go for the 15km one.

AND...i nearly got my chance to havE  a free ride at the Go-Kart booth. but sadly...i didnt have toe covered shoes with me so i had to give it a miss...what a waste....i had used san's name to register for the event and had been lucky drawn out for the free ride...sighz....i have to wait till my church camp at KL to play then... 

yes!! photos of yang's BX. so cool looking rite? his ATI POP was so awesome. it would have been best if the whole event were to be videoed down...makes me feel like signing on for SAF too...haha....who ask me to be such a sucker for uniformed stuff....haha....but uniforms really gives a sense of collectivism....the pride and honour....for someone as egoistic as me...its no wonder i love it!!

minimal photos were taken wen we went to Macritchie's Tree Top Walk..haha...not tt cuz its tiring...but cuz my parents were walking so fast...we have no time to stop and take photos!

jeff's auto-shuffling majong table..but sadly its spoilt..so there's no way to play majong on it...we end up playing blackjack instead......and i went home with winnings amounting to $9.....the same amount yang yang lost...hahaha...oops....

in the blink of an eye, its alrdy halfway through the month of may and by now i had handled and closed 2 vessels. of which, many many problems and mistakes popped up, making me feel so irritated and useless....

in abt another 2 weeks, i would have been with the company for 3 months, yet, i still feel like a newbie to alot of the stuffs that i'm doing daily. but then again, things did get better...i just need to figure out how to solve the mistakes i made more efficiently, or rather, stop relying on my partner to help me pick up my mess.... sighz...

as much as i am enjoying my work, somehow, i do feel dreadful wen i need to go work....but when i'm there and start doing the work, i start enjoying it.... i'm just wondering how can i motivate myself before i go to work....esp on sundays....when i have to deal with being separated from my darling for the week while having to be at work... heh....

eventhough i might have seem like i've gotten used to having yang only book out on Fri, and booking back in on Sun, its still so difficult to bear with the upsetting feeling of not seeing him for a whole week and the only means of communication is via sms.

thnking abt the many more overseas training tt he might have really have me feeling thrilled yet upset at the same time. thrilled cuz he'll have many experiences to share with me, but upset cuz we'll be separated for weeks again.

but distance does make the heart fonder. so, i'll say tt its actually a good thing for him to be so busy with NS. ha!

2 weeks ago had been Chuan's bday....its so touching to see so many of his friends turned up despite it being Mother's Day. it made me feel a little regretful that my sisters and i didnt make our birthday party grander and more fun. afterall, we only turn 21 once.....but with out bday so early in the year, it felt like there's not much time for proper planning and organisation...plus, with christmas just over, we're alrdy rather broke...

still, Chuan's party had been enjoyable.... and i'm convinced tt he inherited his singing genes from his dad...hahah....and looks wise, he seem just like a chip off the block!!! no offense la...but really can see the exact resemblance of him and his dad.

after tt, there had been the long weekend cuz of vesak day....i got to spend the WHOLE of the public holiday with my darling and my family....i'm so so so happy...

i wished time wouldnt pass so fast.

now i'm back in my office. but at least for this one last week, i get to countdown to knock off time and i cna meet my baby darling.

nxt week onwards its back to my countdown for the whole week before i get to see my darling.

sobz sobz.

Visit to the port!

A photo taken with our captain of the Bankline vessel. i love wat we ate for lunch. if everybody wasnt all prim and proper, i would have taken photos of my food!!!

some photos tt i wanted to update 3 weeks ago...

all these vessels belonged to our company.... wow....

okay..... today had my first scolding from my manager...

i cant believe i'm such a klutz...

alrdy, for my previous vessel i forgot to include in my company's cargo and thus they end up having to miss out on 2 voyages....and the nxt vessel the cargo is going on, is the current vessel i'm handling.... but that, was no problem...cuz this time sam and i did double checks and everything was in order.

But just as i expected...i can nv heave a sign of relief...cuz each time i did it....another problem arose....

take yst as an example.... sam spotted a mistake in the POD for one of the shippers....so i had to call up PSA and get them to change in on portnet for us....but that wasnt a big issue...cuz the vessel wun be calling at the mistaken port anyway....its just for documentation purpose...

but sigh....didnt it occur to me that i should have checked through my other bookings to make sure all the port of destinations are correct? no...apparently it didnt....

and guess wat happened? today the vessel came into port.....only to have the yard call in and told me there's a discrepancy between the shipper's shipping order and my booking forecast.... after doing some frantic checks, my entry on the forecast is the wrong one....

wats worse....its a breakbulk cargo...which means everything would be pre-planned so that the cargo have a particular place to be stowed away on the vessel.... this mistake would caused last min disruptions to how it could be stowed on board.

when my manager saw the email i sent out with regards to the change in port, he came and questioned me abt it. i told him it was carelessness on my part and so i was scolded for not doing all my checks properly.

sighz. now i'm so upset. it was stressed upon me that cargo going to the wrong ports would cause losses to the company...so its important everything is as accurate as it should be. which is why everyday we keep doing tallying of all our bookings and confirmations and blah blah blah before we call it a day.

i want to go for my sushi buffet!! i hate the stress...but i love the satisfaction when i got it right.

when can i get it 100% right? i'm giving myself another month....but there's still so much to learn...argh.........

i just read a friend's blog.

sighz. i'm rather glad tt i've gotten over the period of my darling's BMT. HA! cuz as i read abt how much he's 'suffering' away from his gf while he's at camp and always counting down to the weekends, i realized at least my darling and i had adpted to this kinda life.

though many times when i went with his parents to drive him back to camp, i'll have to fight back my tears. the tot of being away for the nxt 5 days of the week is really unbearable. but in a way its good. it resulted in us treasuring every moment we have with each other more...so much more.

i'm so relieved i've managed to "survive" the 3 weeks without. esp these last few days. he called me a few nights ago, telling me his prepaid card left only $1+ so he wun call anymore. but 2 mornings later, he called, but i missed his call cuz i was away from my desk in the office. when i saw the miss call, there's so much pain in my heart, knowing tt i had missed a chance to chat with him. eventhough i know its only for a min or two...but the tot of the missed chance really had me feeling so upset.

then i tot he'll probably not call again cuz he's flying back tt weekend. but today, he tried calling again! and somehow i didnt hear my phone ring eventhough its in my pocket. when i took out my phone and saw tt i missed his call just 2min ago, i felt super super upset. i cant believe i missed his call again!!

i missed him so much so tt i started praying silently....asking God to get yang to call me again. and abt 10 min later, he really did. this time i didnt miss his call cuz trusting God to answer my prayer, i had held the phone in my hand, no matter how inconvenient i found it.

so when my phone rang and reflecting "private number" i knew it had gotta be him. relieved tumbled over me as i hear his voice. although he told me he only has 40sec left of airtime i didnt care. as long as i got to tell him i miss him. but the 40sec ended all too soon.

although i did regret not having the chance to tell him i love him before we got cut off, i'm not complaining. Cuz God had shown me tremendous grace by giving us this short 40sec to let each other know we're ok.

this 40sec also helped ease the pain of missing his call few days ago.

i'm really thankful for this 40sec.

and my darling is reaching singapore today at 0200. i'm definitely keeping my phone by my side in case he calls!

i miss him so much. he's definitely getting lots of hugs and kisses from me....and not forgetting the egg bread i promised to make for him! :D

i love u my darling baby! 

i hate my ex workplace.

it sucks.

the open policies they "claimed" they encouraged.

the "welfare" they have, sucks.

everything abt them is disgusting.

DISGUSTINGLY LOUSY.  This is how i feel abt the management of JG.

Ever since the day i confronted S abt how wrong she is, in the way she's treating a fellow colleague, i knew i cant stand being in the coy any longer.

Even when the people offered to "have a good talk" abt my unhappiness abt their management, they're just only trying to brainwash you abt why THEY ARE RIGHT.

What utter BULLSHIT.

The Z incident i had before i left was the last straw.

In between there's so many disgusting things that happened, that when my sis told me smth tt happened today, i'm not the least bit surprised. Just extremely disgusted that the management still didnt seem keen to change for the better. FUCKERS.

Their discernment for the good and bad teachers are lousy...well, most of the time...

if they're tt damn good, then my eldest sis wun be constantly warning ting abt so many things with regards to the coy....i've a strong feeling she experienced it herself, thats why she could give all these warnings. but just because she dun complain to my mum, she thnks my sis has no probs. its always like tt.

WHY?

we chose to confide every single thing in my mum. at the end of the day, she'll scold us abt our complains. why is it wrong to let her know abt our prob? why cant she view it as us yearning to be close to her, like friends do. why cant she appreciate the fact tt she dun need to be like other mums who need to pry info out of their children and we tell her anth with no reservations.

thnk abt it. does she understand my eldest sis as much as she did for us? she gotta admit. she dun. which is why she had to search for her blog to find out abt her stuff.

i know part of her scolding us when we complained abt our problems is cuz she loved us and so she's feeling the hurt we felt. but being asians, rather than conveying the concern she had for us through loving gestures (eg, a hug), she scolded us to mask the discomfort of displaying affectionate actions.

i understood it fully well how it felt. Like myself, the refusal to display such acts of affection for my family also includes my need to retain my pride. which in turn gives me discomfort. One recent incident to illustrate it was yst with chuisan.

we were in the bedroom watching tv.

San accidentally hurt her back against the bed post. Immediately, a small voice at the back of my head wanted to hug her and ask if she was ok and need me to help her in anyway. But my actions and actual speaking tone refused to cooperate and came out just the opposite.

i said in a harsh tone : " ok not?"

"ya" san said.

thats all.

then after a moment hesitation, i told myself, God wouldnt be pleased with me in treating my sis this way. so i forced myself to put down my pride and i told her : "actually ah, i really wanted to know if yer ok. why u so clumsy. so u ok not. does it hurt alot? need me to help u massage?" and in between i added things like "peifen is probably the one that'll give such immediate reaction. she's the only one who can do tt."

but then again, when i thnk abt it, actually i thnk all the other girls would react like her too...esther, liyi, charissa, amanda, lydia, geraldine....all our female friends would definitely showed her such concern....only me, her blood sister, dun do tt.

sighz.

what a failure i am.

for years i've tried to teach myself to lower my pride and shrink my ego. i've succeeded sometimes, but many times i still dun. why do i feel the need to hide my true concern for people close to me because of pride and ego?

i really love my family and my friends.

many times i just wanna give them all a big hug and tell them i love them and i appreciate them so so so much.

i'm working towards it.

so if one fine day i muster the courage to display an act of affection. dun be surprised or thnk i'm crazy. instead, pls encourage me and tell me yer proud of me.

we will nv know what will happen nxt.

i dun wanna regret only when the chance is gone.

   

my sis is rite! my mum still reads my blog...and she keep complaining tt my mum dun read hers...so...to do her a favour, i'll put down her blog add here...

its www.mightyminime.blogspot.com----->mummy pls note it down. thank you:)

i really dun understand those faggot cowards...

its not the first time i came across my friend's tagboard with someone undisclosed and scolding the blogger...

HELLO?? if u really wanna scold, den should have said out yer name wat. one moment yer saying the person's a fucking faggot...nxt moment yer being a double fucking faggot yerself...

so underhanded.... dare to scold dun dare to say name...

HA! such cowardice is even worse than any fucking faggots k?

i hope those fucking idiots can spend their time doing more meaningful things with their lives rather than let it rot away by going into people's blog and scold people for no fucking reason.....if they cant find meaningful stuff to do, then they might as well just drop dead and fuck off...

i'm scolding them and i am proclaming my name out loud... i'm Ng Chui Yee...go ahead and sue me or scold me i dun give a fucking damn....cuz this is my blog and i can say wat i want.

so there.

somebody help me thnk of a way to grow my hair and not keep cutting it?


today i'm at home cuz of a bad stomach.. must've been cuz of the stress build-up over the past 4 days at work.... but i enjoyed learning everything so much....so didnt notice my underlying stress..not till my IBS starts working up... so i had to take MC from work...but guess wat? my mum said she dun believe me. hello?? doesn't she know after 21yrs tt i have this syndrome and it always happens my first few days of work?

i'm so disappointed when she actually said she dun believe i'm really sick at all.

arg..heck manz....even while i'm home i'm still logged in to my work mail to do my work.

she just dun know me. *peeved*

aiyaya...

each time i see my blog's profile pic, i really miss tt hairstyle.... i really wanna quickly outgrow my current style and change it back! heh...

today's my third day at work. mm.. not too bad. though i made blunders and get so blur tt i konked up my own wrk and had to re-do everything..but at the end of each day, i'll still manage to learn one more new skill to apply to my job. not too bad. and my bookings dept colleagues are indeed really patient with me. i'm just thankful tt its only my third day there. although i felt tt i feel so familiar ard the office, but in actual fact i'm only there for 3 days!

heh. well...there's still very much more systems i'll need to learn....and i started picking up calls today to take shipment bookings. well...if its shipment bookings, its of course quite simple as i've been doing the bookings part for2 whole days....whatever vessel or ports or ETA ETD..as long as it's TOL(Tasman Orient Line)'s shipping route, i'm relatively ok..

blah blah blah...i'm finally not feeling foreign to the shipping line jargon...i feel so much relieved now.... 

but there's still alot more to go. my dept manager kept telling me its only the tip of the ice berg. as much as i'm feeling nervous, i knnow once i get the hang of it, i can be like a pro.

now another urgent thing is knowing my colleagues' extensions. cuz other than receiving calls for bookings, i'll oso receive calls of enquiries...since i'm still new, it means tt i'm not familiar with who from which dept shld i forward the call to. or some wld call to ask for this person or that..and i'll take a long time to forward the call...one guy actually hung up on me. sighz....

but my day always ends well....

today my darling finally called again...it slipped my mind tt he might be off for field camps so i was actually really anxious and upset tt he didnt call. but i'm really touched that the moment he had the chance, he called. heez. it pays to keep my phone in loud ringing mode. each time it rings, i'll know it...and if i see a private number calling, i know it'll most prob be him :)

i miss him so much. the 3 weeks is passing too slowly!

okayzz.....

not tt i didnt miss my darling even though i stop posting in entries the past few days... i really do miss him still..haiz...every night i must look at the photo presentation he made in his hp before i can slp...plus....i cant help but still will cry each time i watch the presentation....the accompanying song he used remind me of him so much!! i miss u darling!!

anyways...

went k-boxing with chuan, jus, ting, joanna and shi min yst. but i dun have my camera phone with me!! so we only used chuan's real cybershot camera..haha...okok...if use tt to compare to my cybershot phone, my phone is not as real a camera la.... so no photos to upload... :x

i'm waiting for my darling to come back with my phone so tt i can upload the photos we took while we went onto singapore flyer! yes! we had the whole capsule to ourselves k!!

heez...

   

and i'm starting work at Swire Shipping tml :) i hope things wun be too challenging until i get the hang of it.... and i'm sure God will grant me favor with my new colleagues and managers! i know i can do it de....Azawaza fighting!!

i hope i can still find time to blog....i'm expected to do OTs.....whatever it is, applying wat i learnt in today's sermon, choosing to count my blessings no matter what happens...i WILL stick through situations however hard its gonna be :)

cheer me on!!

uh oh...i haven written a post to my darling today wor!

haha...its cuz i went shpooing with my mummy today...but didnt buy anth wor

just like yst

i oso went shopping with my mummy and sisters and aunty...but again nv buy anth...

i cant believe it! a bunch of ladies going shopping but didnt buy anth at all!

haha...looks like none of us are shopaholics when tog...but individually, we'll spend like crazy! haha...

but i'm so happy...my final jgc pay came in le!! now with money in my bank, i feel better le..heh...

tml going for a job interview at Swire Shipping Agencies Pte Ltd

 position applied for is customer service

i do hope i can get it.. but i do hope when i get it, i can handle the job...and of course i do hope the pay is good enough!

heh...i do miss my darling...but i'm oso glad my mummy has been asking me to go out...cant help but feel tt she's trying to accompany me...heez...

BUT..............

i haven get to run at all!! i feel so fat and unhealthy!! i must run tml!!!

ok..go slp le...wish me luck for tml's interview!!

today is day 2 of my darling's stay in taiwan. sighz. still missed him very badly. but at least i'm coping well. heez.

but sighz. tot that i could take this chance to ask Daryl play tennis with me...only to hear tt he'll be away at Thailand for a short holiday. but its ok, haha..cuz meanwhile i'll look liyi up and go gyming with her. i'm determined for wenyang to come back seeing me visibly slimmer. ha!

that shld be good motivation for myself.

mm...looks like many people are falling sick recently. just now had a short sms chat with martin only to find out that he's ill too. but well, its a good time for him to take a rest then.

eryl had oso been down with fever. but i'm so glad she's recovered and so could be back in school on my last day there.

i'm so gonna miss my friends at JGC...and i'l miss my babies! sobz sobz...

and haiz..tot that i'll be getting another job really soon after i finish at JGC, but sadly, it didnt happen leh. how? actually am so tempted to just do my degree. but sighz. i'm a little worried it'll be too taxing on my dad:(

ok...gotta go catch the nxt episode on this HK serial i'm currently watching!

inconsiderate idiots

hurmph...young singaporeans are selfish and inconsiderate k?

i mean those who are younger than me. yes...specifically talking abt the CHIJ punggol pri girls and the Holy Innocent High students.

every morning without fail, the buses that travel the routes to these schools, it would be brimming with these students. but the fucking irritating thing is, most of these double-decker buses have an overload of the students-----in the lower deck. the upper deck is totally empty. yet, it seem like its going to break their legs to walk tt small flight of steps. why am i so mean to say tt?

imagine this senario: the lower deck is filled to the brim with students, the upper deck is filled to the brim with emptiness, there are tons of people trying to board the bus. but because the lower deck is so full, yet nobody is moving up to the upper deck, and so only a few more can board the bus and the rest had to wait for the next bus.

i'm one if the fortunate few tt squeezed up the bus. but i cant move further than the coin machine. however, to my disgust, i realized that the lower deck isnt as filled as i tot it was! they were all near the exit door and nobody wants to move in. why? not cuz they can be the first to escape in times of emergency, but cuz in a few more stops, they'll be alighting.

but hello?! most of them will be alighting at the same stop, surely, even if its crowded, they'll eventually get to the door as most of them cleared out isnt it? they wun be left behind for goodness sake!!!

talk abt kiasuism. are they afraid to lose out at alighting first? or are they afraid that by alighting one second later, the assembly bell will ring before they could get to the school compound? or just so happened that everybody had an urgent need for the toilet so they had to be sure to alight asap? what fuck shit la. why are the younger generation getting so self-centered and inconsiderate?

in MRTs, we often see youngsters staying put in their seats even when there are obviously someone else needing the seat more than they do----play psp need to play it seating down?

worse..sometimes when seats are given up intended for some elderly folks, someone younger got to the seat faster. the elderly was the gracious one to say its ok and let the jerk take the seat.

these idiots. i hope their butts get poked by pranksters. and to those whose feet are glued to the area ard the exit door. i hope the nxt time they tried to alight, it'll be filled with inconsiderate people blocking their way and they cant alight. ha!

i'm mean. but i'm just so totally pissed off tt its not gonna bother me tt i'm being mean.

dedicated to my darling =)

mm... alright..today is the first day of the 3 weeks that i'm gonna live without my darling...not even a call away... i wished i hadnt been so dependent on him. sighz!

for the past few weeks...although i felt thankful for the fact tt he gets to book out from wed onwards, but it felt like time just passed too fast. night seem to arrive so quickly and soon the next day comes. if the 3 weeks would have time passed so quickly i wun mind. but.....i feel like it isnt! today is still at day 1 and there's 20more days to go.

i cant believe i'm gonna spend most of my april alone:(

ok...maybe not exactly alone...cuz now i have alot more free time to make arrangements with friends to chill with, to go for evenmore regular gym sessions, maybe to start on my guitar/keyboard lessons, spend time with my mummy, etc...

keeping myself occupied would be one effective way to keep myself from missing my darling too much..

i do hope he'll come back with many goodies for me! hahahaha...

it'll be my last day working at JGC this mon....its again another time of attending job interviews. i hope i'll get to start work before my darling is back. working helps to pass time the fastest. except, i wun have the luxury to be able to msg or call him whenever i'm bored, or upset or stressed. nothing to look forward to at the end of the day. nothing to look forward to when i wake up in the morning.

i thnk i'll have a difficult time passing these 3 weeks. unless, of course, if my wonderful friends make lots of arrangements with me...maybe to the point i wish he wun return so soon? oops..hahah....let me be optimistic!

haha. i'm using my new MacBook! but the irritating thing is, it automatically points out every single spelling mistake that i made..be it deliberate or unintentional. heh. so if i ever decides to use shortforms, i'll have all my words being underlined! and it looked really horrible. trust me.

but other than that, it had been rather easy to use. its amazing how i can press a wrong key and instead found out what function it holds..haha....and i just found out some today! its so fun to explore! haha....

but yeah!! finally i have my OWN laptop. now i can do whatever i want in peace. no more fighting over the com with my sisters.

maybe, to be nice, if my first paycheck is good enuf, i'll sponsor my sisters $200 each to get them to cont saving up to get a laptop of their own? haha... so nice of me rite? rite.........

i'm getting a little anxious though. i had really wanted to work at the shipping coy my couzzie-in-law is working at..but up till now they still had not call me up for interview. i tot they were desperate for new hires? i really wanna keep myself occupied while waiting to register for my degree. in this way, i can oso cont earning money.

haiz.

there's still so much stuff on my 'shopping and to-do list'

1)the cute mouse i saw in the apple store

2)the cool N95 8GB

3)a pampering facial treatment

4)relaxing mani- and pedi-cure session

5)screen protector for my MacBook ( its really not cheap manz)

6)BMW convertible ( i saw 2 at the Forum carpark. haven found out the model though:X )

7)join a good gym for a good workout

8)a sumptous seafood and japanese cuisine buffet ( do they have such combi?)

9)pampering hair treatment

10)lastly...to lose 10kg this year!!!

and....i'm gonna take more photos to put up..lest chuan will complain again..hahahah...

and..

sighz...i hope the 3 weeks will pass quickly.. darling can get to shop for 3 days in taiwan...if i knew where was he, i would go there shop too...or rather, i'll point out to him what i want him to get for me. hahahahaha.

meanwhile, i can start planning stuffs to do with my friends.... and my must-have gym sessions everyday to let my wish of losing 10kg this yr come true!