argh..i'm so fed up...

does it mean tt when one has a steady partner, he/she'll have to stay away from other friends? or is it just me tt he'll need to stay away? such silliness..only tt friend of mine is capable of committing it...

whatever it is, i hope tt friend of mine (if he even bothered to read my blog), knows tt i'm so disappointed and absolutely frustrated with his lack of sense of responsibility...

everybody's happy for him, to see him happily settled in a brand new relationship...being in one myself, i can totally put myself in his shoes and understand his joy...but heys heys...he's getting too drifted away from reality...he still has responsibilities and obligations to fulfil...its back to earth time...arh...but i dun even get to speak to him at all...how can i make him realize tt i didn't even treat him the way he did to me(meaning, the ignoring antics he's been giving me) even as i have a boyfriend?...friends shouldn't be like tt..esp when i did so much to help him out when he's troubled....but i guess i was too silly to thnk i can help everybody solve their problems when they come to me...

people used to comment i'm a good listerner...but did anybody tell me i'm a good problem-solver? NO! so what made me thnk i could do it? apparently nth...perhaps the reason why i kept getting hurt after helping people is just God's way of telling me tis ain't my calling, so i shouldn't be sticking my nose into it? i'm only blaming myself for being too soft-hearted...its nth bad...but i dunno how to MANAGE my emotions... ironic isn't it? i'm a management student....

i always tell myself..being a child of God, i want to give out an aura of God...i want to impact other pre-believers' life the way aunty jenni impacted mine...all i want is to show how God had made a positive difference to my life...i'm not trying to be everybody's friend when i'm nice to them..i'm not trying to gain benefits...i'm not asking for rewards....i'm just asking to be God's instrument to spread His love...i'm just trying to bring hope and joy into the lives of those ard me...and i'm only targetting those tt seek help from me...i'm not even approaching strangers...yes, our church gets us to reach out to the residents in our area...but those tt i really go all out to help? they're my own friends...

so if tt friend of mine thnks i've hidden agenda abt being nice to him, i can only say "u still dunno me well enough"...pre-believers didn't believe tt good things can happen to them without strings attached...but i'm proud to see that my church is doing just tt...showing the pre-believer residents ard our church tt all the things we have blessed them with, are with no strings attached...we just want to bless them with the things that God had so abundantly blessed our church with... and i'm just doing the same... God had blessed me with lots of love from the people ard me...and so i'm just wanting to oso bless more people ard me with the abundant love tt i felt...

"You've place in me the song of heaven's melody, Your Majesty, my life will sing Your song"