alright..back to some proper blogging....
the previous post was cuz i am feeling definitely lazy to try to recall all the past events and blog it all out..anyway, pictures speaks a thousand words isnt it? plus i do have word explanations to go with it..... haha... whatever...

Anyways...finally i have the time to come back to update my blog....been super busy with all the last min revisions...but i at least i dun have to be worried much abt supp paper....maybe for today's Business Law paper...but i'm trying to be more optimistic...

the past few days i actually had some inspiration on certain topics i felt quite strongly about...but cuz i didn't draft anything down...with the inspiration gone, i shall not talk abt it just yet..

i AM gonna have my alcohol crave and craze satisfied at Mambo night tonight...and Liyi's going with me!! haha....feeling so thrilled and excited.......................

at Sky Garden (Vivocity) with darling.... when we

took this photo, we were actually quite high up at one of the holes on display..haha....good thing i was wearing pants...so

we could do some climbing just for the fun of it..haha...but the picture turned out looking really

ordinary....then we tried taking a photo of our ''floating'' legs...but from our angle, it just looked like we were atnading..haha....

but then again...we see no need to prove anth...as long as we know where we took it....thats all that matters!! Haha..

my sis and i came up with a brillant and ''hot'' idea

of how we can satisfy our BBQed marshmallow

craving..Hahahahahhaha....

here's Mr Hunter Loo....feeling shy about me taking his photo..hahaha...adorable as he may be, but he's one fellow

that soughts yer attention relentlessly!! phew...had quite a difficult time getting him away from

me......but i do love him manz.....ADORABLE!!

just some memories of my revision time with

cath.....can't believe everything's finally over!! YAY!!

Cath..thanks so much for the sweet lil' prezzie u got me.. heez..still thinking of where i can put it up..HaHa

Good bye IMEC..Good Bye Macro...Good bye

B.Law.....hahahahahha

In macro, we learn that C+I+G+X-M= AE >>> market equilibrium

During this final sem exam i learn that C+I+G+X-M= ME >>> Moody equilibrium
(Refer to the full explanation below)

i'm definitely the last person u want to be ard with wen i'm in a Crappy+Irritatable+Grumpy+eXasperated-Mediative mood.

arg. macro is driving me crazy.

but still. thanks to those who had helped me and tolerated me these days. i dun need to be an economist to calculate how much resentment my sisters had developed for me recently. haha. it'll blow over.

i just need an alcohol rush.

and i'll have just that on wed night. the last paper of this course.

ZOUK..i'll be there.....

chamillionaire - ridin' dirty

oh my gosh...i'm loving you tube more and more....haha...the website i'm trying to get the songs that i wanted, seemed to be having some technical problems...cant download from there...but you tube's better...now i can find all my fave mtvs and songs and straway post it into my blog.. here is the lastest find for me..

~Ta Da

Final Fantasy X - elliot yamin - I'll wait for you

today is looking somewhat better.

because i managed to get yet another chapter revised for the upcoming exam?
or because i just had a really great time chatting with a good friend?
or is it because i was able to help lessen the load off my friend's mind by lending her a listening ear?

whatever it is...today had been better than yesterday.

.....having just ended a phone conversation with a good friend, i was about to turn in for the night. just about to close the window of my blog. but decided to visit a few blogs before i call it a day. bad choice. not that bad actually. just that i had just successfully pushed away the sleepiness that had initially emerged. amazing. given the fact that i was experiencing sleepless nights recently. but having read their blogs, thoughts are racing through my mind.

so much things had happened these past days. but it does not concerned me. it was regarding my friend's r/s problems. not only did she shared about her problems..we shared alot about our pasts. happy or sad. all was blurted out. i'm enjoying it though. it gives me the chance to reminisce all those sweet memories. but it also reminded me of all the evil side of mankind.

what struck me the most had been the value of sefishness vs selflessness...

its amazing to discover that despite having experienced tremendous number of selfish friends who had almost destroyed my childhood and secondary school life...i was still able to keep that faith that i'll eventually still meet selfless people.

God really works in the most wonderful ways. in times when we least expects it, He'll reveal answers to prayers that we so yearned to be answered.

am i considered fortunate to have been able to experience the 2 extremes of it? one, during my secondary life, where a person can be totally selfish that nothing else matters more than being able to save her own skin? or the other extreme, so selfless that despite struggling with her own problems, still kept up a brave front just so that she could lend me a listening ear for my seemingly childish problem?

what was it that was actually running through every individuals' mind, at the point when someone was soughing for their help? what was it that let them decide to be selfish or selfless that instant? if given a scenario where there would be no cost involved if they rendered their help, would selfish people still do it? but then again, what defines selfish people. do they really exist?

say for example, A is on a packed MRT cabin. he sees a heavily pregnant lady standing. the thought of giving up his seat came to him instantly. but having had a long day at work, he felt reluctant to give up his seat. so he didn't. selfish? i guess onlookers would probably would have thought it too? since he is in every capacity, able to stand. any tiredness he was experiencing, most probably is nothing compared to that of the pregnant lady. right?

but....if there's a change of scenario. A's hand is actually in a cast. but his legs are perfectly fine. and he's not in the least bit tired. similarly, he still doesn't give up his seat. now...would we consider him selfish? i personally suspect that there could be a 50% chance that some would argue that its not selfish. he's injured. though its the arms, but he's injured.

what am i driving at? i'm just really curious. curious about what made people do the things they did?

take myself for example. many times in the past, i do come across people who needed seats more than i did. but i did not gave it up. my reason? somehow i felt that it was embarrassing to stand up and offer my seat. so silly, u may think. but that was what truly went through my mind, which was why, in the end, i did not give up my seat. not because i didn't want to because i was tired. but simply because i was shy to.

i was about to post the question, "so is this considered selfish?"...then suddenly the answer struck me so obviously. its a big YES! i did not give up my seat just because i was 'timid'(so to speak..ha..) for the sake of my own 'face', i decided to not do something i should have done.

well...i guess, in the midst of writing this entry, i had managed to answer my own question.

it doesnt matter how seemingly valid the reason a person has for not doing what should have been done. but as long as a person is able to come out from his comfort zone and offer the help that was needed, he is considered being selfless--- he had put aside his own interest for the fulfilment of favour for others....and not expecting something in return..

nothing else matters. i just want to continue striving to be selfless. like what Jesus is like. friends may tell me to stop being nice to people who are so obviously manipulating my kindness. but i believed i'm doing it for God. not for anybody else. i want to touch the hearts of people through my acts of kindness and selflessness so that even the hard-hearted ones would come to know, experience and enjoy the eternal love of God.

i'm not trying to be a saint. i really just wanna be a good testimony. beacause i thnk i have failed terribly as a christian all these years. its time i put myself back on the right track.

My sister had been constantly listening to Corrinne May's latest album, "Beautiful Seed"... it is indeed a very beautiful album...the songs were well written, accompanied with meaningful lyrics..
and the best part? there is a story behind each and every song..
i had more free time today
so i decided to go into her blog to find out more about this beautiful album
the descriptions of the stories behind the songs were amazing..
one of the songs that really touched my heart, "Five Loaves and Two Fishes", had a really inspiring description:


"Five Loaves and Two Fishes"


"This song is based on my favourite bible story. The story is about how Jesus made a miracle happen by taking five loaves and two fishes offered by a little boy, and using that to feed 5000 people. I think it’s an amazing story about how, no matter how small we may think about what we have to offer, we should trust that our offerings, our gifts are never wasted. Our gifts and our talents should be treasured for they can be used in many beautiful ways."


when i read it, it suddenly seemed to me that God is speaking to me.
Approaching the end of my 15month Diploma course, i feel like i'm suddenly once again thrown back into this pit of uncertainty and fearfulness.... i was once again in a confused state of mind about what i wanted to do.... whenever concerned friends asked about my plans for the near future, i would reply: "oh! i want to join SCDF's paramedic course!"...

but deep down, i was actually really worried..i wasnt sure if it could really work out...what if this plan of mine doesn't work out? where do i move on from here? do i go and take up a permanent job to gain my 2 yrs of working experience before entering UniSIM? or do i just enrol into UOL or RMIT like the rest of my classmates? but i'm not sure if my dad will be able to support my degree.

but i really wanna fulfil my dream as a medic. this was wat i wanted right from the beginning. but obviously, if SCDF dun wanna accept me, this would be a dream i can nv fulfil....

but if i were to work..would my dip be recognised? or would i be able to stay in a workplace for long? but what am i gonna work as? a pathetic student care teacher? entering data all day? what? what?

i really dunno what i wanted

i really thought my problems are solved once I'm done with this dip. but i feel like I'm back to square one. how come i dun seem to be feeling any sense of accomplishment? i still had no idea where i should be heading. i want to be like chuisan. keeping up the faith and obedience for God's plans for her.

i dun wanna fall back into depression. i hate the suicidal thoughts that seemed to forced themselves into my head whenever i got worried. the feeling of having no place to move on. the claustrophobia is suffocating me. the sleepless nights i'm beginning to experience is draining my energy away. i'm beginning to put my happy facade back on again. i dun want the vicious cycle to repeat once again. i hate myself for wanting to blog all these down. i dun want to draw unnecessary attention. but i have no other avenue to release these fears that i harbour.

right now, i might have been able to drive my troubles away temporarily through means of running during my gym sessions. but i find that i am beginning to struggle to keep up that energy level.

everything that i do, i'm losing interest. i'm losing motivation. i'm losing zeal.

sundays were a sort of release for me. to be in the temple of God. where for that moment i could convince myself to lay everything down at the cross. each night i prayed. i prayed for an open door. but i still do not see it. i dun want to stop trusting.

everything seem so temporal.

i'm still waiting for that light at the end of my dark tunnel.

i'm still waiting for God's reply. i know it'll come. i'm praying that it be quick.

yup!!! we all had loads and loads of fun..... yeah....recently i had loads of fun manz....

initially we (darling, martin, chuenhwee, chuan, justina and myself) intended to meet up at esplanade to have dinner....but because they had some firework display thingy on, we could not find any parking lot....so in the end, we headed down to chinatown for dinner...

had a rather sumptous meal...and once again, didn't cross my mind to take some photos of all the food we bought....but one thing i found out.......chuan, chuenhwee, martin and myself all using the samae phone....hahahaha...but i believe martin bought his at the priciest price cuz he got his last year sept...hahahaha....

and anyways, after dinner we decided to head down to a pub at Dempsey rd..but unfortunately...chuan was really tired...so he didn't join us there....and arg....didn't get to take pics with him....he's looking super fit and cool!!! Zulu coy must've been really hiong in their trainings...but he's damn lucky...not a single drop of rain for him during his 6D5N fieldcamp....

and i dun understand why in the world would some of my pics disappear???? martin took some pics of the horrible drinks we had there...and i was supposed to post it to The New Paper to let them know abt it.....but i cna't find the pic anywhere!!....arg...hope he doesn't kill me for it(i know he wun..ha!)...

super tired now....aight...gonna sleep....

Whee~~~
we're all having so much fun at the cell group meeting + Daniel's farewell party!! though its not like we're really tt happy abt Daniel's trip to US for his studies..but at least we had loads of fun that night.....but i'm sure time would pass really quickly....in the blink of an eye, we'll soon have dan back with us celebrating christmas *BIG SMILE*

that night i was in a crazy mood....everywhere i see friends taking pictures, i'd try to creep into the pictures as well...hahaha....can u believe it? this is one of the senario where both mel and jun an had no idea i was behind them, happily appearing in their photo.....lolz.....i must've been in a really good mood....cuz i'm not one who likes to keep taking photos..hahahaha...

after a short bible discussion, we decided to have a game of 'Twister'..and i swear i'm never gonna play it again...the positions that we got was horribly uncomfortable...and with a camera-person constantly on the look-out for funny and ridiculous poses..........well....spare me....hahahahaha...

this is the book where we compiled our well wishes for dan....its really cool....each page of the scrap book had each cell member's individual photo on it and our personal message written for him...and the best part is, its toatlly DIY from everybody.....i guess its the most personal we can ever get.... but i'm sure he'll love reading it...for my page, i even did up a lil quiz for him.....interactive eh?...

one thing i regretted though....i had so quickly finished up the Tiramisu that Dan made, that i forgot to take a photo of the cake before i gobbled it up(so to speak)....sighz.....why did he had to wait till he's leaving then he had to reveal his superb culinary skills?? his pasta and Tiramisu is simply fabulous......i thnk his Tiramisu was 'sold-out' within 5 min of its 'opening'..heh....

but i do miss him.....hope he'll be back with us real soon...

after a very very very spicy and filling lunch at Holland V's Thai Express....
thanks to my 2 big bros...for introducing me the 'fire noodles'...
which gave me dirrhoea that night...
bleag...
still...the day had been fun!!!
muacks...i love them all so much..hahahahah....

yes!! this is the new N6110 Navigator!! Esther's new phone!!!! hahahha...she does need one...hahahah...then i'll be going ard telling people abt her national library incident to explain why this phone is necessary and very useful for her...hahahahahhaha...well actually not tt bad la....i just love poking fun at her sense of direction(or rather, the amazingly lack of it)...my own sense of direction isn't tt good either..just not as bad as hers..hhahahahahaha...


and this is my cute little baby cousin, Gerald!! heez....we love him so so so much!! he's one kid that has laughter in place of all his other emotions.....u can poke fun at him and make him really frustrated..and yet, he'll still laugh it off.... thats why we love him....he makes us all laugh together with him... when this photo was taken, he was at my house.... i showed him my remote control car and he was so thrilled to play with it...but............it turned out that the battery was flat......so he had to wait a whole hour for the battery to be charged before he could play....when he found out he had to wait, he looked so crestfallen and the momentary expression that flashed across his face made it seemed like i cheated his feeling by telling him he could play with it...heh...i felt super guilty.... but when the battery was finally charged, he could play with it happily....so all was well again.....

and looked!! my kitchen is blue in colour...cool right? blast some R&B and it would be like our own club!! hahaha.....my dad just changed the fluorescent tube and it turned out to be blue in colour.....its cool at first. but each time i look into the kitchen, i really felt so nauseous. good thing my dad changed to a more normal one before he went back to Bintan.

my dream car!!! Fairlady!! stupid Vernon...he thinks his 20yr old starlet(with speedometer having a max speed of 180km/) can overtake the Fairlady...

so when he was overtaking it, he made me take a photo of the process....duh.......we did overtake it...but seconds later, we see it in front of us again......can't believe we have an idiot as our groupmate for these 5 semesters....i'm sure Shawn and Fay would agree if they read this

oh Yes!! i'm so excited!! the day after our last paper, we'll be playing paintball at orchid country club! yeah!! heez...i cant wait for the day to come..i can finally get to try out paintball...mm...one of these days must get Catherine to go get the necessary stuff for the game.....but we're still trying to figure out what is it tt we really needed...heh...

time really flies...yst was the 3.5year annivesary of yang and myself. whoa....

Happy 3.5 year annivesary darling!!

anyways...time flies indeed..before national day, martin was just telling me he would be away at Bangkok for 4 days...so soon, he's back already.....and brought back with him this couple-shirt for yang and myself. the pic u see here is the miniature version of the actual shirt...so cute rite?! when i first saw the animation on the lady's shirt...i couldn't stop laughing....even now...i'm still laughing at how cute it is..

then i was asking martin if he happen to know if singapore has it too...and guess wat?? i was at Cineleisure with guo hua and benjamin yst. we were making our way to the 5th level to catch 'Rush Hour 3' and i walked past this push cart stall......selling the couple shirts tt martin bought for us!!! my gosh....such coincidence!! just the day before, i was just trying to find out if its available in s'pore...and behold! the nxt day, i walked right passed the stall.. ha!!

and 'Rush Hour 3' is very very funny..i love Chris Tucker!! he's super duper funny!!! hahahha....just thinking back about all the funny scenes can make me laugh non-stop manz....and poor guo hua....each time there's a funny scene, i can't stop laughing and slapping his hand...hahah....oops...my usual habit...haha...sorry manz....

and oh ya!!! i am beginning to hate my height!! yst guo hua was waiting for me outside the toilet and as i was walking towards him, i was trying to tell him somthing....as i was walking too quickly, and too engrossed in my talking, i didn't notice this guy who just happened to lift up his hand... before i could react, he accidentally knocked his elbow onto my cheek! OUCH...that was really painful. i didn't know to laugh or cry. could see guo hua trying not to laugh. as for the guy who hit me, the way he said sorry was just like how Fay did. he rested his palm on my shoulder, gave it a firm squeeze and said sorry. when guo hua finally realized i was laughing, he started laughing, gave me a small hug and asked if i was alright. and as though i wasn't aldy short enough, patted my head like i was a little girl...aw...... fine...maybe most of my guy friends are much taller than me.....but dun treat me like some little girl....bleag....

and my cheek is still hurting now...sighz...but yst had been fun....hearing guo hua's army stories as we chill in benjy's room..... and poor benjy...he looked the least interested abt gg army....and he's gonna enlist nxt month!! haha....but there goes my gym pal.....aw.....

oh...which reminds me...gotta meet them for gym now.....

yst night...while i was waiting for ting to finish up her report, san and i hurried to finish up making our da jie's birthday prezzie....time really flies....she's 25 alrdy!!! LOLZ.... well anyways, this time round, instead of buying boring prezzie for her, we decided to put our creative juices and craftwork skills to use. we went to Spotlight to get some scrap materials and decorated a DIY box for her...and i must say, our hard work really paid off...the box really turned out so pretty!!! lol...even my mum tot we bought it off the shelf....she didn't believe we could produce something like tt in just 2 hours.... and trust me...it was no easy task!! all the measurements and cutting had to be super precise....den there's the glueing part.... just last week, i finally managed to get the superglue out of my hands because of the fake nails....den yst night i successfully coated once again some superglue on my hands....sighz....all bad things always happens in a chain reaction...



but as u can see!! this pretty looking box makes everything worthwhile. we're so proud of ourselves manz. heh....having nothing to put in the box, we decided to get her darling elelphants into the surprise operation!! so all the elephants u see peeking out, they're there to join in the fun to wish her a happy birthday too...heh...my da jie must surely be thinking, why suddenly we seem to have surprises for her every week....but i'm sure she appreciates our efforts alot.....wat good fortune for her to have sisters like us...hahahahah...

and today, since there was no lesson....after our early completion of our law presentation, we decided to head down to Chinatown to have prawn mee for lunch(Eeww)...but of course i didn't eat it....i dun like yellow noodles.... but Shawn, Fay, Big baby and Catherine each had their share of prawn mee while i had my laksa....hahaha....den Fay and i went off in search for popiah but end up getting some prawn crackers and rojak(big baby hated it!! hahaha) instead... the pic u see here.....its big baby's 'new' car after he crashed his 'skyline'...hhahahaha...look closely at his horn....its tt puny little button.....wonder will he miss it when he tries to honk it during an emergency....hahahaha....but seriously....the car's too small for him manz...

and then here we have Fay!!! hahaha.....he was saying tt eversince he met with an accident in his friend's Lancer, he had to put on his seat belt and hold onto the handle while he's in the passenger seat. but since vern's car had no backseat seat belt(the car's 20yrs old!!) and the handles cannot be found, he had to constantly hold onto the head rest of the front passenger seat..heez...poor Fay...but he's coping well!! lol....

alright....shall stop here.....going to the gym!!! yeah!! i'm gonna slim down!!!!

i hope tonight my darling can book out early so tt we can go out...i'm counting down the time!!!

yeah..in my sis blog she has this exact same pic. but whatever....heh...cuz i lazy to upload those tt were in my phone. noticed i changed my blog layout?? yea. wanted to change my tagboard format but cant figured out how. but i prefer this new format.so i stuck with it. anyway, this is the prank we played on our sister. my mum and sister were very amused by it. they cant stop laughing. see! innocent pranks like this bring lots of laughter and NO harm. we didnt dare tell my mum at first. for fear of her scolding us for messing up her bed. but little did we know, when she saw our prank in the morning( we did it the night before after she went to bed), she added in a note of her own representing herself and my daddy..hahaha...so cute!! but i'm glad they could appreciate our little unique way of welcoming my sis back :D

and, my sis was so amused by it, tt she decided to clothe herself in the tape she removed from her bed and got us to take photos of her so tt she can send it to her friends. after having her ard, i realized we really missed her very much. we spent the whole time updating her abt everything tt happened. suddenly, all of us sem so close now. we had nv been able to talk like this before. somehow, things had changed. and she had been really nice to me. complimenting me at all the right time without sacarsm like the past. it just feels so good to be able to get along comfortably with my sis. suddenly the 5 year age gap is gone. truely indeed. absence makes the heart fonder. not being able to see my sis often, makes us treasure her more when she's back. and my darling being away for camp, made me miss him everyday. each time he book out, i just want him by my side. everywhere he is, i want to be too.

but sighz...his mum feels this way too. and i dun wanna be selfish. but at least he loves me as much too. so he also wants me by his side all the time too. knowing this, i feel really glad aldy. so compromising, i spent time in his house with him while he talks to his family. as long as we have each other for company, i guessed we feel happy and contented already. rite darling baby?? i love u so much! MUACKS!!

later that day, ting and i decided to go catch a movie. we watched ''captivity''....its an M18 show..so we need to show our ID. being playful..we used our driver licence instead of IC...good thing the person looked convinced...haha.....we just love showing off our licence....BLEAG... anyways the show's not too bad.. the tortures are too sadistic for us to take but we still had to watch...it was at this instant that i wished i was watching with my darling instead.....sighz...i could have cuddled up to him during all the gory scenes and feel his reassurance..... *sighz wistfully*

but yeah... i'm gonna ask my darling to watch ''invisible target'' with me...i thnk he'll like it...the guys in it are as man as him!! hahahahahahah...

when we were done with the movie, we made our way to Vivo's Daiso...as ting's class was held there...since this is MY blog, i shall not bother to elaborate why is it held there....ha!

while i was walking around, i came across this coin bank with the word 'mono-tone' on it..the first thing tt striked me tt was rather funny was, the design seemed to be suggesting tt u will be able to hear the mono-tone sound if u pop a coin in..hahahahahah..in

other words, its just telling people to put money in la....lolz..lame...but cute!

and i love the sky garden tts outside Daiso....now tt it wasnt as crowded as it first started out, the environment is much more relaxing and enjoyable...i kept telling ting i will want yang to come and take a walk there and just enjoy each other's company.....

i do miss him so much...

den after we were done at arab street we proceed to get out the place. and guess what....this small little vespa u see here, was ''farting-poot poot pooting'' while it waited for the traffice light to turn green... i dun understand some people....not like they're riding a Harley or a Busa or even a Super4... why make such disgusting sound with yer disgustingly small bike and draw unnecessary attention to yerself when there's nth to show off. thus feeling pique, i decided to take down his pic and post it here where everyone can see it and have a good laugh at him. no harm done since neither his face nor car plate no can be seen.

YUPPIE!! its a rather nice top with a traditional design. ting and i thought that it would be a pretty top to get for my nxt year's CNY season. heez. but..... i thnk firstly, my mum might just freak out...but then again..maybe not...cuz my da jie wore smth lidat before....and ting's D&D for Arabian Night would have her top designed in this manner too....hahahaha...

mm....so i guess the person that will object the most to this would be my darling yang yang..hahaha...if i were to really get this top, i'm sure i wun be wearing it when i go for visiting at his house..HA! or his mum will faint... actually, i could just wear a black tube inside la...den it wun be bare back le lor....lol....haiz...see how first ba...lets see whats my mum's and yang's reaction when they read my blog ba....