25 Mar 2007
John 6:1-13 (NIV)
1Some time after this, Jesus crossed to
the far shore of the Sea of Galilee (that
is, the Sea of Tiberias), 2and a great
crowd of people followed him because
they saw the miraculous signs he had
performed on the sick. 3Then Jesus
went up on a mountainside and sat
down with his disciples. 4The Jewish
Passover Feast was near. 5When Jesus
looked up and saw a great crowd
coming toward him, he said to Philip,
"Where shall we buy bread for these
people to eat?" 6He asked this only to
test him, for he already had in mind what
he was going to do. 7Philip answered
him, "Eight months' wages would not
buy enough bread for each one to have
a bite!" 8Another of his disciples,
Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, spoke
up, 9"Here is a boy with five small barley
loaves and two small fish, but how far
will they go among so many?" 10Jesus
said, "Have the people sit down." There
was plenty of grass in that place, and
the men sat down, about five thousand
of them. 11Jesus then took the loaves,
gave thanks, and distributed to those
who were seated as much as they
wanted. He did the same with the fish.
12When they had all had enough to eat,
he said to his disciples, "Gather the
pieces that are left over. Let nothing be
wasted." 13So they gathered them and
filled twelve baskets with the pieces of
the five barley loaves left over by those
who had eaten.
Key thought
God is for us, with us and already knows what He wants to do in our
lives and in the situations we face.
A. Jesus invites us to live our lives from His point
of view
· The disciples saw from the viewpoint of scarcity and lack.
To the disciples, they did not have the resources to feed such
a big crowd.
· Jesus saw from the viewpoint of surplus and leftovers.
Jesus knew that God was going to work a miracle and that
there would be more than enough food for everyone there.
Are you facing problems that seem impossible to be solved, or
having needs too great to be met? Jeremiah 32:17 says that
nothing is too difficult for God. Know that God cares and is
there for you in your time of need.
B. Jesus already knows what He wants to do
· The disciples were caught by surprise when Jesus asked them
to buy bread for the crowd of people. However, Jesus already
had in mind what He was going to do (John 6:6)
What worries and uncertainties are you facing about the
future? Jeremiah 29:11-13 says that God already knows what
He wants to do for you. He has the perfect plan that He wants
to work in your life. All we need to do is to listen to Him and do
what He says.
My action point:
Lord, I acknowledge Your presence in my life.
Help me to obey You and trust You to fulfil
Your purposes for my life.
lol...i'm not making my blog super spiritual...but i'm just trying to share some really inspiring stuff to those who cared enough to read...lol...anyways..no inspiration to write anth as yet..but i'm sure my nxt entry will...cuz i'll be driving on my own for the nxt 4 days!! lol..i hope my swift wun disappoint me..i'm gonna try whatever stunts i saw my frens did...and i MUST inprove me skills real quick manz..lol..nitez!!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
Last Sunday's sermon was a timely reminder for me...
i've been facing some problems recently..though i can't pinpoint what was it really, but i know i'm getting stressed and my mind is clouded with many uncertaintys..
And thats where last sunday's word came into handy... we were reminded the true meaning of having a God where nothing is too difficult or impossible for Him... the example used was none other than the one where Jesus feeds 5 thousand with 5 loaf of bread and 2 fishes and still had 8 baskets of leftovers...
though i didn't take notes during the sermon, but i did remember certain points.. so i decided i wanna write it here to constantly remind myself about these pointers..
1. When we face problems we should start reminding ourselves to see things in His point of view because God sees surplus while we see scarcity
2. If we want to see things in His point of view, we must do it with Faith...
3. With a heart of thanksgiving, we hold the key to draw nearer to Him
4. We're to be hospitable people because we have a truely hospitable God
during the sermon, the pastor oso told us about the miraculous encounter of George Miller and the orphanage... if my faith ever falter, the story shall be the reminder to me of God's faithfulness... but of course, it shouldn't be all about myself...i dun wanna be a cat christian, i want to be a dog christian(this is the cat and dog theology that my sister told me about).. i want to place God as my top priority..and that everything good or bad that happens, it shall be for His glory and not my own...
right now, i'm too tired to type out George Miller's encounter..but i'll certainly do it at a later date... till then, God bless!
i've been facing some problems recently..though i can't pinpoint what was it really, but i know i'm getting stressed and my mind is clouded with many uncertaintys..
And thats where last sunday's word came into handy... we were reminded the true meaning of having a God where nothing is too difficult or impossible for Him... the example used was none other than the one where Jesus feeds 5 thousand with 5 loaf of bread and 2 fishes and still had 8 baskets of leftovers...
though i didn't take notes during the sermon, but i did remember certain points.. so i decided i wanna write it here to constantly remind myself about these pointers..
1. When we face problems we should start reminding ourselves to see things in His point of view because God sees surplus while we see scarcity
2. If we want to see things in His point of view, we must do it with Faith...
3. With a heart of thanksgiving, we hold the key to draw nearer to Him
4. We're to be hospitable people because we have a truely hospitable God
during the sermon, the pastor oso told us about the miraculous encounter of George Miller and the orphanage... if my faith ever falter, the story shall be the reminder to me of God's faithfulness... but of course, it shouldn't be all about myself...i dun wanna be a cat christian, i want to be a dog christian(this is the cat and dog theology that my sister told me about).. i want to place God as my top priority..and that everything good or bad that happens, it shall be for His glory and not my own...
right now, i'm too tired to type out George Miller's encounter..but i'll certainly do it at a later date... till then, God bless!
Saturday, March 24, 2007
argh..i'm so fed up...
does it mean tt when one has a steady partner, he/she'll have to stay away from other friends? or is it just me tt he'll need to stay away? such silliness..only tt friend of mine is capable of committing it...
whatever it is, i hope tt friend of mine (if he even bothered to read my blog), knows tt i'm so disappointed and absolutely frustrated with his lack of sense of responsibility...
everybody's happy for him, to see him happily settled in a brand new relationship...being in one myself, i can totally put myself in his shoes and understand his joy...but heys heys...he's getting too drifted away from reality...he still has responsibilities and obligations to fulfil...its back to earth time...arh...but i dun even get to speak to him at all...how can i make him realize tt i didn't even treat him the way he did to me(meaning, the ignoring antics he's been giving me) even as i have a boyfriend?...friends shouldn't be like tt..esp when i did so much to help him out when he's troubled....but i guess i was too silly to thnk i can help everybody solve their problems when they come to me...
people used to comment i'm a good listerner...but did anybody tell me i'm a good problem-solver? NO! so what made me thnk i could do it? apparently nth...perhaps the reason why i kept getting hurt after helping people is just God's way of telling me tis ain't my calling, so i shouldn't be sticking my nose into it? i'm only blaming myself for being too soft-hearted...its nth bad...but i dunno how to MANAGE my emotions... ironic isn't it? i'm a management student....
i always tell myself..being a child of God, i want to give out an aura of God...i want to impact other pre-believers' life the way aunty jenni impacted mine...all i want is to show how God had made a positive difference to my life...i'm not trying to be everybody's friend when i'm nice to them..i'm not trying to gain benefits...i'm not asking for rewards....i'm just asking to be God's instrument to spread His love...i'm just trying to bring hope and joy into the lives of those ard me...and i'm only targetting those tt seek help from me...i'm not even approaching strangers...yes, our church gets us to reach out to the residents in our area...but those tt i really go all out to help? they're my own friends...
so if tt friend of mine thnks i've hidden agenda abt being nice to him, i can only say "u still dunno me well enough"...pre-believers didn't believe tt good things can happen to them without strings attached...but i'm proud to see that my church is doing just tt...showing the pre-believer residents ard our church tt all the things we have blessed them with, are with no strings attached...we just want to bless them with the things that God had so abundantly blessed our church with... and i'm just doing the same... God had blessed me with lots of love from the people ard me...and so i'm just wanting to oso bless more people ard me with the abundant love tt i felt...
"You've place in me the song of heaven's melody, Your Majesty, my life will sing Your song"
does it mean tt when one has a steady partner, he/she'll have to stay away from other friends? or is it just me tt he'll need to stay away? such silliness..only tt friend of mine is capable of committing it...
whatever it is, i hope tt friend of mine (if he even bothered to read my blog), knows tt i'm so disappointed and absolutely frustrated with his lack of sense of responsibility...
everybody's happy for him, to see him happily settled in a brand new relationship...being in one myself, i can totally put myself in his shoes and understand his joy...but heys heys...he's getting too drifted away from reality...he still has responsibilities and obligations to fulfil...its back to earth time...arh...but i dun even get to speak to him at all...how can i make him realize tt i didn't even treat him the way he did to me(meaning, the ignoring antics he's been giving me) even as i have a boyfriend?...friends shouldn't be like tt..esp when i did so much to help him out when he's troubled....but i guess i was too silly to thnk i can help everybody solve their problems when they come to me...
people used to comment i'm a good listerner...but did anybody tell me i'm a good problem-solver? NO! so what made me thnk i could do it? apparently nth...perhaps the reason why i kept getting hurt after helping people is just God's way of telling me tis ain't my calling, so i shouldn't be sticking my nose into it? i'm only blaming myself for being too soft-hearted...its nth bad...but i dunno how to MANAGE my emotions... ironic isn't it? i'm a management student....
i always tell myself..being a child of God, i want to give out an aura of God...i want to impact other pre-believers' life the way aunty jenni impacted mine...all i want is to show how God had made a positive difference to my life...i'm not trying to be everybody's friend when i'm nice to them..i'm not trying to gain benefits...i'm not asking for rewards....i'm just asking to be God's instrument to spread His love...i'm just trying to bring hope and joy into the lives of those ard me...and i'm only targetting those tt seek help from me...i'm not even approaching strangers...yes, our church gets us to reach out to the residents in our area...but those tt i really go all out to help? they're my own friends...
so if tt friend of mine thnks i've hidden agenda abt being nice to him, i can only say "u still dunno me well enough"...pre-believers didn't believe tt good things can happen to them without strings attached...but i'm proud to see that my church is doing just tt...showing the pre-believer residents ard our church tt all the things we have blessed them with, are with no strings attached...we just want to bless them with the things that God had so abundantly blessed our church with... and i'm just doing the same... God had blessed me with lots of love from the people ard me...and so i'm just wanting to oso bless more people ard me with the abundant love tt i felt...
"You've place in me the song of heaven's melody, Your Majesty, my life will sing Your song"
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Through it All (Joshua Lee: New Creation Church)
He's always there for you
Even in the hardest times
Don't despair, He's with you even now
My God is so faithful
He'll never leave you alone
God is good, He'll always see you through
Through it all, I know
That God is in control
Like the sun after the storm
His love comes shining through
Yes I know, His love for me
Is greater than all my trials
Like a child in His arms
He'll carry me through it all
With Him my night will be as day
Even in the darkest times
Trust in Him, His word will never fail
I've come to know that through the years
He's taken all my fears
God is good, He'll always see me through
i simply love this song...its such an assurance to know the faithfulness of God..i'll never be afraid, i'll never lose hope, i'll never feel alone, i'll never despair...thats the beauty of our Lord :)
slept at 2.30am and got up at 7am...
cuz was out with martin for almost the whole day since yang was away for a dinner function...appreciate martin's company..though it wasn't much..lol cuz he was actually sleeping like a pig on my bed and i had no choice but to sit at my study table and try and fix my network prob on his laptop...but then, being an IT idiot..i didn't get anth done anyways...lol...
after he woke up, we went down to mambo tog with my sisters...martin had his pool training while i had dinner with ting and san....den packed a hawailian pizza for him..wasn't sure wat flavour to get him..but since most of the time we share the same taste, he'll prob like hawailian..heh...good thing he told me he liked pineapples....but bad thing too...the nxt time if we ever had to have pizza, i'll have to fight for the pineapples..bleag...good thing yang wun fight with me..lol!! yang is still the one tt dote on me most lor..!!
but anyways, had a good time at mambo...gave martin some informal training for his upcoming match..although compared to him i dun make a strong competition, but its still fairly tough..my skills are improving too manz...lol...after tt, yang, yong and galex joined us at mambo and we got to take a look at galex's new car...its a 7-seater honda stream...quite cool looking...den we drove down to holland v for hagen diaz's ice-cream...all because martin's craving for fondue...duh....but ok la...on the fact he drove me to mambo and oso will be drving me home and always helping me persuade yang to let me drive and wen yang bullies me, speak up for me...he's simply such a good fren tt how can i deprive him of his fondue craving? LOL...heh....in the end we end up gg home so late...because he had some 'important' discussion to tok to yang abt...duh.........
i dun mind it actually...we were just having so much fun crapping, joking and laughing...but i have a drama reheasal the nxt day at 8.30am and the actual drama at 9+am..and my script is not fully memorized...tts why i kept asking to go home..heh...thank god martin always drives fast...
haiz..enuf abt tt boy....always irritating me anyways...dunno why i bother to be so nice to him and dedicating almost half my blog to him? lol....puiiii..... heh..but tts frens manz...only genuine frenz dare to poke fun and irritate each other..so yong, know why i always always irritate u? lol...cuz u're always so nice to open the traffic for me to let me filter lane when i'm driving...no wonder my lane filtering nv improves!! lol...i thnk i keep contradicting myself....lol...
maybe i shld learn to write like shakespear..using oxymorons(2 conflicting words put tog, forgotten what egs though)...den my blog will become some sort of literary essay...lol...
but anyways..have decided to work in martin's aunt's coy with yang and will quit my job at kumon...i can now do smth closer to wat i'm studying i hope...
tts all for now folks....
a memory verse we taught in children church today:
Remember to put God first in everything we do and He'll open a way for us. Proverbs 3:6
Have a Blessed week ahead!!
cuz was out with martin for almost the whole day since yang was away for a dinner function...appreciate martin's company..though it wasn't much..lol cuz he was actually sleeping like a pig on my bed and i had no choice but to sit at my study table and try and fix my network prob on his laptop...but then, being an IT idiot..i didn't get anth done anyways...lol...
after he woke up, we went down to mambo tog with my sisters...martin had his pool training while i had dinner with ting and san....den packed a hawailian pizza for him..wasn't sure wat flavour to get him..but since most of the time we share the same taste, he'll prob like hawailian..heh...good thing he told me he liked pineapples....but bad thing too...the nxt time if we ever had to have pizza, i'll have to fight for the pineapples..bleag...good thing yang wun fight with me..lol!! yang is still the one tt dote on me most lor..!!
but anyways, had a good time at mambo...gave martin some informal training for his upcoming match..although compared to him i dun make a strong competition, but its still fairly tough..my skills are improving too manz...lol...after tt, yang, yong and galex joined us at mambo and we got to take a look at galex's new car...its a 7-seater honda stream...quite cool looking...den we drove down to holland v for hagen diaz's ice-cream...all because martin's craving for fondue...duh....but ok la...on the fact he drove me to mambo and oso will be drving me home and always helping me persuade yang to let me drive and wen yang bullies me, speak up for me...he's simply such a good fren tt how can i deprive him of his fondue craving? LOL...heh....in the end we end up gg home so late...because he had some 'important' discussion to tok to yang abt...duh.........
i dun mind it actually...we were just having so much fun crapping, joking and laughing...but i have a drama reheasal the nxt day at 8.30am and the actual drama at 9+am..and my script is not fully memorized...tts why i kept asking to go home..heh...thank god martin always drives fast...
haiz..enuf abt tt boy....always irritating me anyways...dunno why i bother to be so nice to him and dedicating almost half my blog to him? lol....puiiii..... heh..but tts frens manz...only genuine frenz dare to poke fun and irritate each other..so yong, know why i always always irritate u? lol...cuz u're always so nice to open the traffic for me to let me filter lane when i'm driving...no wonder my lane filtering nv improves!! lol...i thnk i keep contradicting myself....lol...
maybe i shld learn to write like shakespear..using oxymorons(2 conflicting words put tog, forgotten what egs though)...den my blog will become some sort of literary essay...lol...
but anyways..have decided to work in martin's aunt's coy with yang and will quit my job at kumon...i can now do smth closer to wat i'm studying i hope...
tts all for now folks....
a memory verse we taught in children church today:
Remember to put God first in everything we do and He'll open a way for us. Proverbs 3:6
Have a Blessed week ahead!!
Saturday, March 17, 2007
aww...i'm back here again...
had quite a good time shopping in Zhu Hai and sightseeing in Macau...there's so many pictures to share but so limited spaces to put it...heh...but its ok...its always better to experience it personally than just looking at pictures...pictures are meant for keepsake while experiencing the moment....
sighz...life is so boring....if only i have loads of money and i can do more travelling...beats being in singapore with nth to see and do...
which reminds me... in Zhu Hai, we went to a place to sightsee...unfortunately i had no idea what that place is called...heh...but that place was fun...our Sentosa Luge must have had their idea taken from there....we took a chair lift up to a hilltop..the scenery was beautiful...but we're more interested in the ride down...it was like a roller coaster ride....our luge is such a far cry as compared to the one we took....and the best part? the ride up and down cost us a mere 11 sing dollars per pax....
shopping was fun....not only its cheap, the bargaining process was hilarious...although there were times we bargained till we felt rather embarassed..but when we walked off and the shop keeper signal us to come back, we had to keep from laughing out at how well our bargaining act was...LOL!!
oh and there's the 'traditional' toilets....it was an absolutely unforgettable experience...the cubicles are normal looking...but in the cubicle, there's just a drain...ppl can just shit and urinate there....and there's no flush in the cubicle...it was just a main big flush that flushes the drain abt every 10-20min i thnk....heh.. i had so much to say abt my experience at the toilet..but i thnk it's rather disgusting though its oso funny...lol....tok to me if u wanna know ;)
as for my experiences at macau, it wasn't as fun cuz i had a serious case of diarrhoea there...so i was unable to eat properly and enjoy myself... all i know is, there's lots of casinoes and i did take some efforts to take some pics when i felt well enough...other than tt, it didn't gave me much experience there....
but being away for 5 days with no connection back to singapore to my friends...i really missed them...i do missed the night life i had with my friends back here..lol...meaning, my trips down to jalan kayu and lower seletar...or rather..i miss spending time chatting with my friends...
the night i came back, i went for a drink with yang and yong at jalan kayu...we had such a wonderful time hearing my experiences...lol...den the nxt night, i was out with pengsong and gang, martin and yang at mambo...den yst nite i was out with martin, yang, yong and chuen hwee for a movie at vivo den after tt, to yishun to pack supper to jalan kayu...heh...den i surprised martin with a model aircraft i made for him...it was no easy tough..cuz the model was made of wood so i kept getting splinters in my fingers while i try to fix the pieces together... yang's and yong's wooden fixtures were far more easier to make so i could give it to them 2 days before... heh...but seeing how happy martin was with the model plane made me feel happy too...its really such a joy to see my friends appreciating things tt i made for them...it beats having some others totally ignoring me because of some other girl ;( i guess tt friend of mine thnks i would jeopardize his relationship with the girl? sighz...dunno wats wrong with him...but i dun give a damn anymore..he dunno how to appreciate my genuine friendship...but its fine...i will always have my bunch of 'lower seletar kakis'...lol....
alright...gotta stop here for now...will update again...cya and God Bless!!!!
had quite a good time shopping in Zhu Hai and sightseeing in Macau...there's so many pictures to share but so limited spaces to put it...heh...but its ok...its always better to experience it personally than just looking at pictures...pictures are meant for keepsake while experiencing the moment....
sighz...life is so boring....if only i have loads of money and i can do more travelling...beats being in singapore with nth to see and do...
which reminds me... in Zhu Hai, we went to a place to sightsee...unfortunately i had no idea what that place is called...heh...but that place was fun...our Sentosa Luge must have had their idea taken from there....we took a chair lift up to a hilltop..the scenery was beautiful...but we're more interested in the ride down...it was like a roller coaster ride....our luge is such a far cry as compared to the one we took....and the best part? the ride up and down cost us a mere 11 sing dollars per pax....
shopping was fun....not only its cheap, the bargaining process was hilarious...although there were times we bargained till we felt rather embarassed..but when we walked off and the shop keeper signal us to come back, we had to keep from laughing out at how well our bargaining act was...LOL!!
oh and there's the 'traditional' toilets....it was an absolutely unforgettable experience...the cubicles are normal looking...but in the cubicle, there's just a drain...ppl can just shit and urinate there....and there's no flush in the cubicle...it was just a main big flush that flushes the drain abt every 10-20min i thnk....heh.. i had so much to say abt my experience at the toilet..but i thnk it's rather disgusting though its oso funny...lol....tok to me if u wanna know ;)
as for my experiences at macau, it wasn't as fun cuz i had a serious case of diarrhoea there...so i was unable to eat properly and enjoy myself... all i know is, there's lots of casinoes and i did take some efforts to take some pics when i felt well enough...other than tt, it didn't gave me much experience there....
but being away for 5 days with no connection back to singapore to my friends...i really missed them...i do missed the night life i had with my friends back here..lol...meaning, my trips down to jalan kayu and lower seletar...or rather..i miss spending time chatting with my friends...
the night i came back, i went for a drink with yang and yong at jalan kayu...we had such a wonderful time hearing my experiences...lol...den the nxt night, i was out with pengsong and gang, martin and yang at mambo...den yst nite i was out with martin, yang, yong and chuen hwee for a movie at vivo den after tt, to yishun to pack supper to jalan kayu...heh...den i surprised martin with a model aircraft i made for him...it was no easy tough..cuz the model was made of wood so i kept getting splinters in my fingers while i try to fix the pieces together... yang's and yong's wooden fixtures were far more easier to make so i could give it to them 2 days before... heh...but seeing how happy martin was with the model plane made me feel happy too...its really such a joy to see my friends appreciating things tt i made for them...it beats having some others totally ignoring me because of some other girl ;( i guess tt friend of mine thnks i would jeopardize his relationship with the girl? sighz...dunno wats wrong with him...but i dun give a damn anymore..he dunno how to appreciate my genuine friendship...but its fine...i will always have my bunch of 'lower seletar kakis'...lol....
alright...gotta stop here for now...will update again...cya and God Bless!!!!
Sunday, March 4, 2007
yeah!! no more exams....for now..haha...don't thnk i'll be doing too well for marketing and HR...but its not cuz i didn't study..its cuz i had diarrhoea!! can u believe it? the first 2 days of exams and i had to have my diarrhoea then... and my papers are 3-hour papers!! so because of that, i had to keep requesting to go to the toilet...
but can't go too many times oso..or they might think i'm cheating or smth...haiz...i'll nv forget the tremendous pain i had during the marketing paper..it was the second day of my exam...the previous day, i experienced pain only during the second half of the exam so i tot it was due to stress...so i left at 12.40..cuz my paper supposed to end at 1 and we're not allowed to leave the hall or go for toilet breaks in the last 20 min... but for my marketing paper, it was the worst...
when i first reached school, i felt so nauseous..but i didin't go to the toilet...i tot it was cuz i didn't had dinner the night before and so it was a reaction of gastric...so i went to the lib to do some last min revision... but it seemed to be getting worse..no choice though..i had to go into the exam hall soon and if i'm late, i can't sit for the exam...
when i sat at my seat, i was feeling slightly better, and coincidentally, Shawn's seat was nxt to mine..and i was joking ard with him... but then, suddenly my pain came back and i suddenly stopped toking..but i thnk he didn't notice anth cuz just then the invigilator told us to settle down and stop talking...
finally, when its time to start the paper, the pain was getting increasingly bad..i was so worried...and i thnk my anxiousness might have worsen it because of my IBS condition...and tt wasn't all, no one was allowed to go to the toilet in the first 30min of the exam oso...so i had to bear with the pain... time seemed to pass so slowly...i was struggling to concentrate...the intensity of the pain was so great that i couldn't process what i was writing...no...i couldn't find the strength to write at all...my right hand was clutching at my stomach and my left hand clutching the pen, trying to force myself to write and not waste time...but i couldn't do it..i almost cried..in the end, i laid my head on the table trying to will the pain away...then after many precious minutes, it got slightly better and i started writing as best as i could...
who knows, the intense pain resumed after abt 20min...and this time, i made myself carrying on scribbling....until i finally finished my first question, i asked to go to the toilet..
the trip to the toilet made me realised it was diarrhoea..but after tt, everything was so much better..and i could do my paper for the next hour...but again, towards the end, when i was left with 2 quetions, which was 25marks each, the pain was there again..i looked at the time...40min left...so i decided to ask to go to the toilet again...however, the second trip didn't make things better...somehow it felt worse...again, left with not much of a choice...i quickly scribbled a half page answer for the last question and totally skipped the previous question and handled it up just before the last 20min announcement was made...
maybe some would be thinking why must leave before tt?..cuz judging from the pain, i knew i can't hold on for so long..including waiting for the collection to end, for the invigilators to finish counting the scripts...thats why...sighz...everything sound so screwed up...it is screwed up...good thing for my A for CA..i just need 42marks for my main paper and i can pass...but its such a waste, i knew the answers but i didn't have the strength toi write it out...but heh...as long as i dun needa re-do my exam, i'm tankful alrdy...i just wanna take a good break and enjoy myself...
tata...
but can't go too many times oso..or they might think i'm cheating or smth...haiz...i'll nv forget the tremendous pain i had during the marketing paper..it was the second day of my exam...the previous day, i experienced pain only during the second half of the exam so i tot it was due to stress...so i left at 12.40..cuz my paper supposed to end at 1 and we're not allowed to leave the hall or go for toilet breaks in the last 20 min... but for my marketing paper, it was the worst...
when i first reached school, i felt so nauseous..but i didin't go to the toilet...i tot it was cuz i didn't had dinner the night before and so it was a reaction of gastric...so i went to the lib to do some last min revision... but it seemed to be getting worse..no choice though..i had to go into the exam hall soon and if i'm late, i can't sit for the exam...
when i sat at my seat, i was feeling slightly better, and coincidentally, Shawn's seat was nxt to mine..and i was joking ard with him... but then, suddenly my pain came back and i suddenly stopped toking..but i thnk he didn't notice anth cuz just then the invigilator told us to settle down and stop talking...
finally, when its time to start the paper, the pain was getting increasingly bad..i was so worried...and i thnk my anxiousness might have worsen it because of my IBS condition...and tt wasn't all, no one was allowed to go to the toilet in the first 30min of the exam oso...so i had to bear with the pain... time seemed to pass so slowly...i was struggling to concentrate...the intensity of the pain was so great that i couldn't process what i was writing...no...i couldn't find the strength to write at all...my right hand was clutching at my stomach and my left hand clutching the pen, trying to force myself to write and not waste time...but i couldn't do it..i almost cried..in the end, i laid my head on the table trying to will the pain away...then after many precious minutes, it got slightly better and i started writing as best as i could...
who knows, the intense pain resumed after abt 20min...and this time, i made myself carrying on scribbling....until i finally finished my first question, i asked to go to the toilet..
the trip to the toilet made me realised it was diarrhoea..but after tt, everything was so much better..and i could do my paper for the next hour...but again, towards the end, when i was left with 2 quetions, which was 25marks each, the pain was there again..i looked at the time...40min left...so i decided to ask to go to the toilet again...however, the second trip didn't make things better...somehow it felt worse...again, left with not much of a choice...i quickly scribbled a half page answer for the last question and totally skipped the previous question and handled it up just before the last 20min announcement was made...
maybe some would be thinking why must leave before tt?..cuz judging from the pain, i knew i can't hold on for so long..including waiting for the collection to end, for the invigilators to finish counting the scripts...thats why...sighz...everything sound so screwed up...it is screwed up...good thing for my A for CA..i just need 42marks for my main paper and i can pass...but its such a waste, i knew the answers but i didn't have the strength toi write it out...but heh...as long as i dun needa re-do my exam, i'm tankful alrdy...i just wanna take a good break and enjoy myself...
tata...
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